Why would I hunt penguins?

Don't think that I'm out somewhere hunting penguins cause that's not where I am.

What a waste of time that would be. You got these small little dinosaurs running around and then they learn to fly and over time they evolve into birds with feathers and it is sweet. But then they decide to move to the frozen south pole and stop flying and eat fish and be all black and white. Why would you want to hunt an animal like that?

Traditional reasons to hunt things:

1. For food.
2. For sport.
3. To try out your sweet new weapon.
4. Revenge.

I can't see how any of these reasons apply in the case of penguins. Food? Please. Give me a fucking chicken sandwich. Those are way better than penguin. And don't try to tell me there's any sport in hunting penguins, unless you only like games that you know you can win. I guess if you're a weak gutless hunter maybe penguins are your choice of game. But that still leaves us with the problem that rules out #3, and that is that penguins live really far away from where you live. I guarantee there are closer places to try out your sweet new weapon or easier game much closer. Go hunt a cow. That would be really easy! They are way bigger than penguins so you'd hit it more often, plus they don't run or swim fast. Or better yet just play Contra with the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-start turned on. You'll win that every time and you'll get cool weapons like the swirling fire gun and the badass spread gun, which you might even combine with rapid for an unbeatable combination.

That leaves us with revenge as the only motive anyone could possibly attribute to me in thinking that I'm out hunting penguins. But that is pretty thin too, because nobody knows of anything that a penguin ever did to me. Which isn't to say that I don't have ample reason to hate penguins, cause I do, but its just that I've only ever told one person about that, and I killed her 8 years ago. She was my daughter.

So unless my dead daughter told you about the penguin insults, I don't know why you'd possibly think I'm out there hunting penguins. Get real man.

At ease brother! I ain't after you.