For my lawyer friends

http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com/

Enjoy this preview of the rest of your life.

Bad end to a great month

My 24th week got off to a bad start last night/this morning with a $1274 loss.

I lost $390 in an early session, but I wasn't too displeased with my play. I took a break, then sat back down only to lose another $884. I cut that second session short because I found myself getting frustrated, and I'm a bit tired. The games I left were good, so I didn't want to leave, but there will be good games tomorrow when I'm fresh and unemotional.

In my first 23 weeks, I averaged $1013 of winnings in 21.4 hours of play per week, bringing me close to my goal of earning $50/hour. Actually, since I set that goal I've averaged $66/hour, so I'm pretty proud of that. But a ferocious downswing could always be just around the corner, so I'm not going to be overconfident.

I didn't like ending an otherwise great August ($8866 this month unless I play tomorrow evening before midnight) on a down note, but game selection has been crucial to that success, which means finding the right games to play and knowing when not to play.

Famous Poker Players

This is based on what I know about them, poker and personally, which is almost entirely based on publicly available media. I might update this occasionally (last updated 8/30).


I particularly like:

• Barry Greenstein - Barry seems like a good person, and unquestionably one of the best poker players in the world. His book is one of my favorites, not just among poker books.
  
• Daniel Negreanu - Daniel's blog can get a lot gayer than even mine, but I respect that he speaks his mind openly. I also like that he seems to live a balanced life, not completely obsessed with only poker. And hosting all these heads up challenge matches, he's got some big balls for a little guy.
  
• Phil Ivey - In contrast to Daniel's balanced life respect, I respect how much this guy seems to be dedicated to his career. Dude plays long hours at the highest stakes. He is an unstoppable poker machine.
  
• Paul Phillips - Smart guy, great blog. I'd like to be more like paulp.
  
• Howard Lederer - Hearing of him almost exclusively in the context of tournament poker, I had no idea what a cash game beast he was until I read this book. Good book, by the way. He has really done a great job of capitalizing on this poker boom.
  
• Greg Raymer - ESPN's coverage painted him as another Chris Moneymaker, but Raymer wasn't a total fluke. He's had a lot of success in very big cash games, and everything I've ever heard this guy say about poker has impressed me. He seems like a classy guy as well.
  

I particularly don't like:

• Phil Hellmuth - What an egomaniacal fucking jackass. But jackassery sells, so he's making a crapload of money away from the tables. Very good tournament hold'em player, not very impressive otherwise. I think he'll turn out to be like the Paris Hilton of poker - a trainwreck that was fun to watch for a while, but eventually we'll all realize how pathetic he is and stop caring. But he'll still be rich. And he'll remind us of that as often as possible. Check this out.
  
• Johnny Chan - Rounders made Chan out to be the ultimate poker god, but we haven't really seen much of this guy in the poker explosion the last few years. Why not? This guy was perfectly positioned to be a huge poker star, but he's off making bad investments somewhere. I've heard that he is superstitious, blaming dealers for bad luck. He also made disparaging comments about billionaire Texas banker Andy Beal, who has given a group of the world's top poker players all they can handle in ultra-highstakes limit hold'em games (as high as $100,000/$200,000), which was described in this book. Except for his relatively low profile lately, most of my reasons for disliking him are based on obscure 3rd person accounts, so I could be way off here.
• Scotty Nguyen - Drunk and annoying, baby!
• Sam Farha - Just look at this guy. He looks like the ultimate sleezy gambler. There was that moment with Moneymaker where he barked at the dealer "I can read the cards better than you can." That wasn't the only time he offended a dealer. If it looks like a slimebag, and it acts like a slimebag, it must be a slimebag.
• Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari - Just read this.
  
• Everyone associated with "The Crew" - What a bunch of annoying assholes. Especially Dutch Boyd, who ripped off a bunch of people who deposited money in the now-collapsed online poker room he started.
  

Not as bad as I first thought:

• Mike Matasow - My first impression of him was the ugly incident of him taunting Raymer, but when you hear about some of the other insane stuff this guy says and does, you realize that he's just crazy. Rudeness is much more forgivable from an insane person. He seems like a genuinely nice guy who can't control his emotions or impulses whatsoever. Everyone who knows him says they love him, so I guess that counts for something.
• Scott Fischman - Disdain for "The Crew" aside, this guy is damn good at poker and seems to approach it the right way. He's had some obnoxious moments, like rolling on the table after winning a bracelet, but I'll assume he is maturing.
  

"Dude... about your last post"

"Wasn't that last post kind of gay?"

I don't think so.

"Umm, I like reading your blog usually, so I don't want to be a dick, but reading that made me feel pretty weird."

Maybe that means you're gay.

"Oh..."

Its ok, I won't tell.

"Thanks... wait I have another question. How come you look like an idiot in every picture of yourself you've ever posted?"

I deliberately only post pictures where I'm making goofy faces, that way when you look at it and think that I look like an idiot, I can blame it on the bad picture.

"That's pretty clever, except that people who know you know that you look like an idiot all the time.."

This conversation is over.

Premarital cohabitation

My roommate is moving out, and my girlfriend moved in.

I always used to say that I didn't really like the idea of living together before marriage, although in recent years I've refined the marriage condition to something more like "the honest intention that we'll try to make this relationship last forever." I'm not big on public ceremony and formality.

We decided to go ahead with this several weeks ago, knowing it would upset our conservative Catholic parents, hence my recent anti-religion rants. An irony my parents some day might appreciate is that my values in this situation closely resemble the values underlying the religious reasons for discouraging this practice - I think a couple living together before they are fully committed to each other is likely to cause a lot of problems for them, and could be especially bad for any planned or accidental offspring. I just don't need a weird old man in goofy black and white collar to tell me when I'm legit.


Anyway, familial unease aside, I'm thrilled about this development. I never really expected to have it this good. I find it hard to believe how lucky I am.

Phantoms

I love Kevin Smith.

In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back they keep saying that Ben Affleck is "the bomb in Phantoms." I watched Phantoms tonight. It sucks. Don't ever watch it.

Kevin Smith lied to me.

Sports Guy quote:

Is it just me or does "Pope Benedict" sound like somebody who would be the third receiver on Florida State or something?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Back in action, confident, and very sexy.

"What I do question is my emotional capacity for coping with adversity."
-adspar, 4/15/05

I wrote that after 3 weeks of playing poker for a living. There just isn't any way to prepare for how you'll feel when faced with some situations for the first time, no matter how much you plan or think things through. So very quickly it became obvious to me that a huge question mark in this venture would be my psychological capacity for handling the brutal swings that come with the territory.

I don't doubt myself any more.

I spent the last week playing up in Atlantic City, and then reflecting on my game while enjoying a weekend at Dewey Beach. I read the first half of Barry Greenstein's book and highly recommend it.

Taking a step back and looking at how I've handled various situations so far, I know I'm approaching this the right way. I'm making good decisions away from the table, and my decisions at the table are getting better all the time. In spite of mediocre results for the AC trip, I'm more confident than ever in my ability to make it in this game.

Later I'll probably write more about Barry's book, why I like it, and why it gives me confidence. But for now I'll just leave this image, which pretty much sums up the weekend at the beach with my friends from high school. Luckily I was behind the camera and not otherwise involved in this man-on-man encounter. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Out for a bit

I won't be posting for a week or so. Try to get by without me.

Online Poker Screen Names 4

When you sign up to play poker at an online casino, you pick a screen name that other players see when you sit at a table. Here are some names I've played against. Players in red are losers in games I've played; green are winners. My databases are getting too big, so I don't have this detail for everyone now.

(Online Poker Screen Names 1)

(Online Poker Screen Names 2)

(Online Poker Screen Names 3)


Poo: very popular in this data collection period.

• PokerPoopy - this guy sat out for a few hands after typing "brb gotta go poo"
  

• poosnack
  

• SittininPoop
  

• poomachine
  

Sexual/Vulgarity:

• AssSpanker - My first hand against him I had AA vs his KK. I guess I spanked his ass.
  

• Owning_Balls -
  

• fulltit_com - FullTilt.com is a poker website. I can guess what kind of website fulltit.com is
  

Funny References:

• demimoore - This is funny not because Demi Moore is particularly amusing, but because its funny that anyone would pick her for a poker screen name.
  

• JIMMYFALO -This is funny because Jimmy Fallon is pretty funny, AND because its funny that anyone would pick him for a poker screen name.
  

• TutanComeOn - When I saw the name "KhanhAir" I wrote the following: This is one of two things. Best case is that this guy's name is Khanh, or he's somehow affiliated with something named Khanh. In that case, he decided to come up with a play on words and related his name to the name of the movie "Con Air." That's like when my friend Erm had the IM screenname "ErmNHammer." I understand the pun and all, but couldn't you have come up with something cooler than baking soda or a crappy movie? (Yes, Con Air is on my honorary mention Badass Movies list, but I'm trying to make a point.) So that's the "good" case. The worse case is that this guy is in no way associated with the name Khanh at all, and he just thought he'd come up with an alternate spelling for Con Air. That would be really really weird. Well clearly this guy isn't the legendary King Tut (Egyptian King Tutankhamun), so this is a worst case scenario.
  

• thebigsalad - Seinfeld reference, Elaine's meal choice
  

• MrVanDeLay - Seinfeld reference, George's standard fake name was Art Vandelay
  

Weird:

• SubHmanRetrd - This guy is kind of hard on himself
  

• catpig - When I found out there was a real children's show called "Catdog" I was amazed at the simple stupidity of combining those 2 animals. I probably was drunk, but its still kinda funny. Catpig. Funny.
  

• Chunky_LuvR - Big people play poker when they aren't busy making love.
  

• brues - I like this name because of its ambiguity. Is it supposed to be an alternate spelling of Bruce? Bruise? Brews? Is brue a word? So many possibilities... yeah I stopped caring.
  

Drugs:

• ISmokeMeth - me too.
  

Reader Submission:

• PubesOnSoap - My first reader submission, this delightful name came from Erm, who saw it on Paradise.
  

Gracious in Defeat #4

People say lots of classy things after they lose a hand...



Coolarrow: nice hand you XXXXing retard homo fcku


----

avi25g: fasteddie u fu,cking lucky dic




I could pretty much do one of these every day for the rest of my poker career, but this is getting old pretty fast.

Gracious in Defeat #3

People say lots of classy things after they lose a hand...



MichaelRav: what the fuc is wrong with sons of mot ther fu cing bit ches


Note that most of the quotes in these features contain very innovative ways to avoid the automatic censoring of vulgarity. Poor Michael.
----

riggedparty: anything but not my 500th river today
riggedparty: software is a fking rigged joke


This guy believes that multi-billion dollar PartyPoker intentionally fixes its games to create more action and to let bad players catch their miracle card on the river so they don't go broke and stop generating income for the site. He believes it so strongly that he created a screen name based on the idea. And yet he still plays at PartyPoker. Apparently he'd rather play in a poker game where he's sure he'll be cheated than not play at all.
----

Kelly19hoty: ahhahaha
Kelly19hoty: fyu
Tarasque: nice mouth
Kelly19hoty: blow me
Tarasque: R we 2 be impressed by your vocabulary?
Kelly19hoty: no.. my poker skill.. shut up son
Tarasque: gee, I guess u told me


Kelly sounds really hot.

Because you care

I went bowling tonight. It is the 3rd time I've bowled in the last 6 months. I had bowled once in probably 10 years before this year. I'm not very good.

I bowled 5 games:

128
141
111
168
144

average = 138

More evolution

You might have noticed I get really pissed off by anti-science bullshit, so any time I hear someone say mean things about evolution I get a bit worked up. Paul Phillips has a pretty good evolution discussion going on over on his blog. I responded to this post.

I figure for most of the people who would see my post here and then go check his out, I'm already preaching to the choir. But for anyone who reads this and thinks evolution is wrong and that Intelligent Design should be taught in schools as an alternative to evolution, I suspect you might be enough of a sheep to believe him just because he's rich and quasi-famous.

It has been pointed out that my belief in evolution is just the other side of someone else's belief in Intelligent Design. Or that my belief in science is just like someone's belief in the Bible. What makes my belief better than theirs? It is a fair point in many ways, which is what Paul discussed.

So, here are my beliefs:

• I believe that objective truths exist.
• I believe that the better we understand these truths, the better our lives can be, and thus we should pursue truth whenever possible.
• I believe that most people share my first 2 beliefs, but for various reasons don't know the best way reach truths. Many just want to be told what the truth is.
  
• I believe that sound reasoning and the scientific process are the best way we have to discover truths.
• I believe that the pursuit of truth by the scientific process has value in and of itself, even if the search is unsuccessful.
• I believe that too often in this pursuit we let our vision be clouded by forces like religion, politics, greed, and fear. This can undermine popular acceptance of good science, like evolutionary sciences, which slows the pace of advances in such fields.
  

It was the process of evolution that crafted us as creatures who tend towards religion and politics, and who often act based on greed and fear. These traits made us more likely to survive and reproduce in our environment as we evolved, but in our modern environment they impede us from fully understanding the mechanism that allowed them to have such power in the first place. Sweet irony.

Gracious in Defeat #2

People say lots of classy things after they lose a hand...

This time I'm insulted in Italian. The second line seems to combine "pork" and "mother." I'm not sure if "pork" is intended as a noun or a verb. I think the first line has something to do with putting something somewhere uncomfortable.


spacciato: ma cosa avete nel culo

spacciato: porca madonna

Gracious in Defeat #1

People say lots of classy things after they lose a hand...


Originally referenced here, a maniac wrote this after I won a giant pot by catching a straight on the turn with my AK. The last line is a reference to my screen name, which contains the word "pour.")

INSANE MORON: foff

INSANE MORON: db

INSANE MORON: lucky fu.ck

INSANE MORON: pour my cu.m u fuc.k wad

I'm still here - various poker updates

People start to get a little panicked if I don't post anything for a little while. Instead of questioning just how desperate my (4) readers are, I'll take it as a compliment.

Writing about poker is tricky. What can I write about: specific hands, wins/losses, general thoughts about my poker game, life as a wannabe poker pro, topics from the poker world...


Specific Hands

While it helps me improve my game, detailed hand analysis gets boring for both the writer and the readers. While I've done it here in the past, and will probably occasionally do it again, this just isn't the best place for it. If I want to get feedback from very knowledgeable poker minds, I should take the hands directly to friends, or post on 2+2. So I tend to just post hands that might interest casual readers, like a cool bluff or a huge pot. Here's one!

$15/$30 Texas Hold'em - Saturday, August 06, 2:30am or so

SB guy posts small blind [$10].
BB guy posts big blind [$15].

** Dealing down cards **

Dealt to Adspar [ Ks Ah ]
LIMPING FOOL calls [$15].
INSANE MORON raises [$30].
1 guy folds.
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$30].
Adspar raises [$45].
Why Not Guy raises [$60].
SB guy folds.
BB guy folds.
LIMPING FOOL calls [$45].
INSANE MORON calls [$30].
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$30].
Adspar calls [$15].

5 people see the flop with almost 22 small bets in the pot ($325). I love Party Poker.

** Dealing Flop ** [ Td, 3h, Qh ]

LIMPING FOOL bets [$15].
INSANE MORON raises [$30].
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$30].
Adspar calls [$30].
Why Not Guy folds.
LIMPING FOOL is all-In for $4 more
INSANE MORON calls [$4].
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$4].
Adspar calls [$4].

This was an easy call for me with 13 BBs in the pot. I have 3 outs to the nut straight, 6 overcards that might be good, and the backdoor nut flush draw.

4 people see the turn for 15.4 big bets, one guy is all-in.

** Dealing Turn ** [ Jd ]

INSANE MORON bets [$30].
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$30].
Adspar raises [$60].
INSANE MORON raises [$60].
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$60].
Adspar raises [$60].
INSANE MORON calls [$30].
COLD CALLING SPONGE calls [$30].

That's right, I got to cap the turn against 2 other players with the beautiful turned nuts.

3 players and the all-in guy to the river, with 27.4 big bets in the pot.

** Dealing River ** [ 5d ]

INSANE MORON bets [$30].
COLD CALLING SPONGE folds.
Adspar raises [$60].
INSANE MORON folds.

Adspar shows [ Ks, Ah ] a straight, ten to ace.
LIMPING FOOL doesn't show [ Jc, 9c ] a pair of jacks.
Adspar wins $450 from side pot #1 with a straight, ten to ace.
Adspar wins $458 from the main pot with a straight, ten to ace.

$908 pot and that guy folded the river for 1 more bet. Wow. Apparently displeased with the situation, he then types the following hysterical and classy conversation. (The last line is a reference to my screen name, which involves the word "pour.")

INSANE MORON: foff

INSANE MORON: db

INSANE MORON: lucky fu.ck

INSANE MORON: pour my cu.m u fuc.k wad

Wins/Losses
I have written about nice wins and rough losses, but I recently realized that I don't want to keep doing that. Poker is gambling. Gambling has wins and losses. Even when you gamble "with the best of it" you still lose sometimes. The important thing is to look at the long run, so you shouldn't take individual losses too hard or get too excited about wins.

I also don't like to write about losses because people get worried about me, especially people who don't really understand the variance of poker (aka everyone). And then I don't like to write about big wins because if I don't show the losses, I shouldn't brag about the wins, right?

But, life doesn't always feel like a long-run. It feels like a bunch of short-runs. So if writing about a big loss helps me deal with it, I'm going to do that. I write this shit because I think I'm getting something out of it, not just to entertain and enlighten dozens of people every month.

So, here's a story about a big win. Tonight I had the biggest session win of my life. It was 3 times bigger than my previous biggest, which happened 4 days earlier. Its been a good week.


General thoughts about my poker game
Life as a wannabe poker pro

I'm playing pretty well I think, but I'm still nervous that I'm playing $15/30 on a short bankroll. But I felt like it was time to get past the dead limits of $5/10 and $10/20 into the more juicy action. I wrote about a bad first night in the bigger game, but since then it has been very good to me. Inevitably I'll hit a bad streak, but hopefully not before I pad my bankroll a bit more.

In April, I made almost $3,800.
In May I made almost $1,600.
In June I made almost $8,000.
In July I made almost $400.
Tonight I made almost $3400.

Variance is a bitch. Try to imagine the range of emotions that kind of variability in income causes. It is really nice not to have to report to an office, or have a boss. It is nice to sleep til the afternoon and take a trip whenever I feel like. Its fun to drink a 6 pack on a Tuesday night while watching HBO on demand for 5 hours. Its fun to see people's reactions when they hear what I do for a living.

But this shit takes a toll on me in weird ways. I doubt my decisions and worry that my next session will start the avalanche to my inevitable demise. What happens if I have 4 months like July in a row? Do I even remember how to write a resume? Oh god I just know that flush draw is going to get there and fuck my flopped set.

Take a step back and a few deep breaths. You've proven that you are a winner. Just relax and let the long run work its magic...


Topics from the poker world

And I'm just playing limit hold'em cash games! I can't even imagine how tournament pros feel. Their income is even more variable. They could easily go a year without a major cash, or longer. I guess when they do hit, its for $190,00 or $455,00 or $1,100,000 which is a different zip code from $620 or $1,100 or $3,400. But I don't get the feeling that many of the tournament pros we see on TV are investing half of their big wins in blue chip stocks and treasury bonds.

I invest half of my winnings in coke and hookers. It helps me stay humble.

Seriously though, sitting at home playing cash games online is crazy enough for me right now. Flying all over the country, dropping $5,000 or $10,000 in entry fees plus travel and hotel expenses wherever the tournament is - those are some crazy gamblers.

Clarification

A "workdump" is when you poop at work.

Some people were confused.