4th spatial dimension

This is cool. Scientists have developed a mathematical framework that should allow them to test a 5-dimensional theory of gravity. Their theory predicts the existence of tiny black holes in our solar system that Einstein's theory wouldn't allow. We'll hear more in a few years.

3 hours of related info. Nova program about string theory, based on Brian Greene's The Elegant Universe.

Top TV Characters

6/6/06 - Added McCoy, Dwight, Fake Henry Gale. Shuffled the order a bit.


Minor Characters




Major Characters

11.

10.
9.
8.
7.

6.

5.
4.
3.

2.

1

Human/Chimp hybrids

The earliest known ancestors of modern humans might have reproduced with early chimpanzees to create a hybrid species, a new genetic analysis suggests.

I thought the chimp/human hybrid story that has been in the news a bit recently was pretty interesting, but mainstream media coverage of science stories usually leaves me with a lot more questions.

I just came across this criticism of the Nature paper that the hybrid story is based on, and things make a bit more sense now:

the "provocative" theory that early hominids were human-chimpanzee hybrids has no empirical support! It is provided in the paper only because it is provocative. It is making news headlines only because it is provocative! ... It is not an impossible hypothesis, but it is not currently justified.

What job should I get?

This evening a friend suggested I sign up to be a cop. It is an interesting idea - go through the training, and the worst that could happen is I don't like it and quit. Unless I get shot.

Anyone else have any ideas? I'm open to absolutely any suggestion.

DIRK

best buy prank

This is awesome.

80 people in blue shirts all flood into a Best Buy and just stand around pretending to be employees. Very amusing.

• A dude walked up to me and said: "Are you guys demonstrating or protesting or something?" I said: "Oh, I'm just waiting for my girlfriend, she's somewhere around here." And he says: "So the shirts....?" And I said: "Shirts?" A security guard walked by and said to the dude, "Sir, this man does not even work here, do not ask him questions."

• A little while later, an older woman with a handful of products walked past me at one point muttering to herself, "Everyone in this goddamned store is wearing a blue shirt and nobody knows a thing!"

• Both security guards loudly advanced their own theories about what was going on. One security guard didn't know who the group was, but suspected that it was some cult, because, "They all have that zombie look in their eyes. They just stand there staring at nothing." They also argued about if the prank was funny or not. One did not think it was funny at all and the other said he thought it was "kinda funny," and tried to explain the humor, "What if you went into Home Depot and there were all these people wearing orange aprons all over the store?" "That's completely different." A few employees tried to get me to spill the secret on what the group was, and another employee came over twice and asked me in a hushed voice, "Are YOU a police officer?"
  

can I get a buyer?

My blog is worth $7,339.02.
How much is your blog worth?

Rounders and Life

HDouble has used quotes from movies as a framework for poker discussion several times. Bill Simmons once did a pair of articles where he used quotes from Rounders to discuss the 2001-2002 NBA season.

Here's my version (as promised)...


"You don't hear much about guys who take their shot and miss. But I'll tell you what happens to 'em. They wind up humping crappy jobs on graveyard shifts trying to figure out how they came up short."

I took my shot, and I missed. Playing poker for a living just isn't going to work for me any more. Hopefully I'll be able to find a better job than the crappy truck route Mike McD humps.


"Time to time everyone goes bust."

I didn't get cleaned out in a real blood game over at KGB's place. I haven't lost everything I have. I still have 6 months of living expenses plus a small bankroll. I still own my house and car, and my girlfriend hasn't left me (yet). Going bust was never really an option for me. I've approached this in a conservative way, and while that has prevented me from going bust, perhaps it held me back from greater success. Who knows.


"Well my uncle Les says when the money's gone it's time to move on."

Worm's uncle is a master of common sense. My money isn't all gone, but after more than a year it is clear that I'm not going to make much of a living this way. I could probably keep scraping by. And while I've never had grand aspirations of wealth, I'd like to be able to raise my standard of living a bit.


"Now the closest I get to Vegas is West New York, driving this lousy route handed down from Knish to rounders who forget the cardinal fucking rule: always leave yourself outs."

At least I didn't forget the rule. I haven't played well for months, but I've been able to keep getting by because I left myself outs - chasing bonuses, earning rakeback, selling ads on my blogs. And I should have plenty of outs beyond poker. I have a degree from a good school and a few years of experience with a highly respected company.


-"Hey Knish. How are you?"
-"The same."

The awkward exchange between Knish and Mike's girlfriend (did she even have a name? I think I vaguely remember her being called Jo) succinctly drives home how stagnant a poker career can be. Every day you just sit in a chair and fold most of your hands. It gets old.


"Does he look like a man beaten by Jacks?"

One of the funniest quotes of the movie goes to an odd success I've always had with casino poker. I'm very often complimented on my poker skills, praise that I've always judged to be sincere. In some cases it is just because I'm willing to sit there and fold for 3 hours in a row, so when I finally play a hand everyone assumes I must have Aces. (Thus I don't look like a man beaten by Jacks.) But many times I've received compliments from excellent players who would certainly base their opinions on more subtle factors than my patience. And since my results certainly haven't been nearly as spectacular as the praise would seem to warrant, I conclude that I must just give off a good player vibe. I'm not sure if this is in any way useful, but compliments are always nice.


"I'm right on schedule, up $4200. Morning can't get here soon enough."

This quote goes to all the ridiculous expectations of success that people have about poker, myself included. Mike McD has been playing $20/40 stud for a few hours and he casually says that being up over 100 big bets is "right on schedule." Even the best players in the world couldn't expect to make more than a few bets per hour in the easiest of games, but people in the poker community tend to think about their best sessions ever and assume they can project a reasonable win rate based on that. In thousands of sessions of modestly winning poker, I've had very few +100BB sessions in a limit game.


"$220? That's like 11 bets..."

Speaking of ridiculous expectations, taking 11 bets to a limit game is crazy, even if you are base-dealing to a bunch of trust-fund babies. Bankroll management is another area where popular opinion is way off, in my opinion. The "standard" bankroll you'll read about on most websites and in most poker books is 200 to 500 bets for a limit game. I think 1,000 is a much better number for a pro.


"They all know me as a small-timer, but that's about to change."

This quote is when Mike decides to put his entire bankroll on the table in a high-stakes no-limit game. Taking shots at bigger games that your bankroll shouldn't really allow is how a lot of very successful players made their way up through the limits. I think it is a good idea to occasionally take shots, but only under optimum conditions. To me this means:

• The bigger game looks very soft - usually because you recognize several weak players who usually play lower stakes.
• You are feeling on top of your game and have no emotional distractions at all.
• You've been winning a lot lately at your usual stakes.
• You set a clear stop-loss limit

Those are all fairly straightforward parameters. But there are more subjective factors that should also be considered:

• Would losing more money cause you to make bad decisions in the bigger game or your regular game?
• Would exposure to the higher stakes numb you to the smaller stakes of your regular game?
• Will you be able to honestly evaluate the reasons for success or failure over a sample sample size?

Last summer I took a shot at the $15/30 level online when I was meeting all the first set of parameters. But it was the second set that ultimately led to my failure at those stakes, which severely set back my poker career. Actually, I probably still haven't recovered.


"Maybe this is a game can be beat. But you know you can beat the 10/20 at the Chesterfield."

Having a game that you can reliably beat to fall back on makes it a lot easier to take shots at moving up. There are stories of how Phil Ivey and Jen Harmon were 'stuck' for a long time, not able to move past a certain limit. So they kept dropping back down, rebuilding their bankroll and taking another shot. Eventually they beat the bigger game and never looked back. But they might not have been able to make it if not for the ability to beat the smaller game and the willingness to do it.

Knowing what I know now, I'm not sure I've ever had a 10/20 Chesterfield game that I know I can beat (for an hourly rate good enough to make a living). At certain points in my career I thought I did, but I was probably basing that on too small a sample size. I've spent most of the last 6 months bouncing between full-handed and short-handed, limit and no-limit at several different stakes, but never really found a reliable bread-and-butter game.


"Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker."

This quote is for the tools that helped me spot the suckers. Almost every site has a note-taking feature, which is a great starting point. But to play several tables at the same time, I think there are some indispensable software tools. Poker Tracker is a database program that I use to store all my hand histories and sort the information in a useful way. PokerAce and GameTime+ are programs that automatically project your Poker Tracker stats onto the game windows while you play. All are well worth their modest price tags (GT+ is still free I think).

"Man, you're fixin to go down hard. It almost seems like you want to."

Mike finally confronted Worm about his reckless choices, and even though he seemed to know that Worm would drag Mike down with him, he kept going anyway.

Like Mike, I let it happen even though I saw it coming:

2/28/05 I say I'm not quitting my job to become a poker pro.

3/7/05 "To do: Create a resume and post it on Monster and other such places." Never happened.

4/12/05 What I do question is my emotional capacity for coping with adversity.

6/17/05 I concede that I can't play poker more than 20~30 hours per week, and decide I want to fill my time with other productive things.

10/12/05 "When people ask me what I do with my time, I don't really have an answer."

11/15/05 A beautiful woman took quite an interest in me just a few days after my girlfriend dumped me, but I just wanted watch a tape of a chubby Chinese man pretending to be scared of a goofy redneck. She tried to kiss me, but I told her to go away. Looking back on it, I was making some pretty questionable decisions here.

1/20/06 "Anyway, the fact that my prospects for advancing are based more on capital infusions than hard work or skill is probably an indication that I won't be a professional poker player in 5 years."

3/5/06 "I need to figure out a better way to approach poker as long as it is going to be my primary income source."

So I've been noticing problems for at least a year. And then yesterday I wrote this in my diary, which I guess was finally the wake-up call I needed:

5/18/06 "A bunch of municipal workers from Binghamton just beat the shit out of me and my friend. I think my nose might be broken. They took all of my money and I owe $15,000 to the Russian mob tomorrow. I think I'm in trouble. Maybe my teacher can give me some money..."


"I want him to think that I'm pondering a call. But all I'm really thinking about is Vegas and the fucking Mirage."

This quote is for all the times I let something divert my focus from my a hand of poker. From distractions like television and instant messenger, to emotions like frustration and anger, or the hazes from fatigue or alcohol, I let way too many things keep me from making the most profitable decisions.


"This isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money."

While Mike decided to cowboy up and sit back down with KGB, I think I was always pretty good about leaving my ego behind. I certainly let a million things distract me, but I never let my ego get in the way of a financial decision when it came to poker. So I figure I won't let me ego keep me from the financial decision of moving on from poker. Like Joey Knish said, "I'm not playing for the thrill of fucking victory here. I owe rent, alimony, child support. I play for money. My kids eat." If poker can't pay the bills, something else will.


"Now some people might look down on Worm's mechanics, call it immoral. But as Canada Bill Jones says, it is immoral to let a sucker keep his money."

This quote is for the high profile internet players who were recently busted for cheating in tournaments by entering multiple times using several different accounts. What was more shocking than their total lack of contrition was the amount of support and defense they got from a lot of people in the poker community.

Multi-accounting, aside from being clearly against the terms and conditions of the poker sites, results in the significant likelihood of a player occupying two seats at the same table, which clearly violates the spirit of fairness of the game. It takes a great deal of imagination to contort the actions even into an ethical grey area, yet many were willing to outright excuse them.

Poker is a predatory game. The strong feed on the weak, and it feels like easy money. That situation is always going to attract an element who are willing to compromise or ignore ethics to make an extra buck. While I might think of myself as one of the good guys, I'm still some kind of a hustler, and it is a bit uncomfortable to be even remotely associated with cheaters and their apologists.

"You keep grinding out that rent money Joe. Its noble work you're doing."

Worm's pot-shot at Knish is for my desire to do something that has some value to society.


"Joey Knish is a NY legend. He's been a rounder, earning his living at cards, since he was 19."

Speaking of Knish, the quote that introduced him is for all of the young poker prodigies who dominate the 2+2 forums. I don't know how so many 18 and 19 year olds are so good at poker. And it can be easy to think that if they can make so much money, so can I. But I can't.

Some of those kids are truly great players who will make an excellent living from poker. Some of them are cheaters. Lots of them are decent players who have just gotten very lucky so far. Some of them will eventually be great players, and most of them will settle into the middle of the pack. And lots of what you read there are exaggerations or outright lies.

Whoever they are, comparing myself to them is only going to frustrate me. Like Max Ehrmann says "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."


"I'm not gonna fuckin' sit in the can and have my friend paying down my debt. I'm not a leech."

Worm is a liar, a cheat, and a felon, but not a leech! He won't take his friend's offer of $10,000 while he's in prison, but he'll run up $7,000 of debt on his friend's name without telling him once he gets out. Lester Murphy is a real man of principle.

I started to know it was time to move on as I've become more and more inclined to accept the generosity of friends and family. I very much appreciate their willingness to help me out, and I'd like to get myself to a point where I could help them out if they ever need it. I don't want to be a leech.


-"They took every fuckin' nickel."
-"I think I got 300 in my boot somewhere."

This desperate exchange between Mike and Worm after they got beat up by the cops is for the kind of desperation I don't want to reach. I've got some home equity that I could borrow against. I've got a 401k from my job that I could liquidate. But I couldn't really bring myself to that. It is just too desperate. Reaching for that $300 in my boot isn't going to solve my problems; it can only delay them.


-"I'm off it"
-"What you're getting cold cards?"
-"No man I quit"
-"What? Are you shitting me?"

Worm acted incredulous that Mike quit poker, but he knew that he'd get him back in the game. I don't think I'm going to totally quit poker, but I must admit that the idea of not playing for several months sounds very appealing. I imagine that some people might be a little shocked at that, but I don't think anyone should really be that surprised. We'll see.

"Just like a young man coming in for a quicky, I feel so unsatisfied."

Everything John Malkovich says in this movie is hilarious, including this line after he quickly loses $10,000 to Mike. Even though I have some bigger reasons for moving on from poker, I admit that I feel unsyyyyatisfied that poor results are part of what is pushing me away. I genuinely thought I could do a lot better than this. I don't like feeling defeated.


"Are you even going to get a job? Are you even going to look? Or are you going to go back to printing those credit cards again?"

I actually started coming to terms with the idea of getting a job a few weeks ago, but I can't quite bring myself to seriously start applying. I've done a bit of work on a generic resume, and I've perused a few job listings, but I haven't quite been able to really get going. Part of the problem is that I don't know exactly what I want to do, so anything I see I keep thinking maybe there's something better. And part of the problem is that I'm lazy.

"I don't know if I'm gonna bring my legal career to a crashing halt before it even starts, but I just can't help myself."

This quote introduces a great scene in the movie, where Mike McD walks into the judges' poker game and reads everyone's hands. This quote is for everyone who's ever had the thought "I don't know what I want to do, and I don't really want a job... guess I'll just go to law school." That thought crossed my mind, but I'm probably not going to follow through on it.

"Some people, pros even, won't play no-limit. They can't handle the swings."

This quote is for my reluctance to play no-limit. I started messing around with it a bit in the last few months, but after a great first week I never really found a comfort zone. Its a shame because NL should give more of an edge to good players than limit, and NL is so wildly popular these days that there is just so much money out there for the taking. But I can't get it.

I should also note that generally the swings in NL aren't as bad as the swings in limit, based on comparing your variance to your earn in both games.


"You're making a run at it aren't you? Rollin' up stake and going to Vegas?"

This quote is for my lack of interest in tournaments. Mike's ambition was to go play in the World Series of Poker. Even though tournaments give you the opportunity to make some huge scores and make a name for yourself, I haven't really put much effort into improving my tournament skills. Part of that was because I figured I was better off earning my hourly rate in a cash game rather than investing my time learning in a game where my expected earn was a lot lower initially. And part of that is because I haven't enjoyed most of the tournaments I've played, probably because I wasn't very good at them. Maybe now that I've got a bit of experience with the NL cash games, that will help my tournament play.


"Last night I sat down at this card table... I felt alive for the first time since I got busted at KGB's."

I haven't had that feeling about poker in a long time. Maybe it will come back.

Unlike Mike McD, I would know never to deliver this line to my girlfriend.


-"Summer clerkship in your office says I know what cards you're holding."
-"I don't bet with jobs like that... let's just say I'll put you at the top of the list"

This exchange between Mike and Judge Marinacci is for my looming job search, reminding me that landing a good job can be more about who you know than who you are. I know a few people who could probably help me get some good jobs in the same kind of business I left a year ago, but I want to see what else is out there.

"Your goal is to win one big bet an hour. That's it."
"Folks around here will tell you, you play for a living... it's like any other job."

These two quotes go together to make such an important point. It was easy to forget that while on a given night I might have won or lost hundreds or even thousands of dollars, I was really only making about $25 per hour. And for most of that time, I simply wasn't treating poker like a job. On paper I might have been a professional poker player, but really I was just an unemployed person with a poker hobby. Doyle Brunson might have been talking about me when he said "The whole problem with most players is that they want success without work. Their mental picture of a successful gambler is like the Hollywood image - some guy betting big money and doing nothing but win."


"The elders said I had a 40 year old's understanding of the midrash by the time I was 12. But by the time I was 13 I know I could never be a rabbi... because for all I understood of the Talmud, I never saw God there."

This is for the soul-searching and contemplation I've been able to do in all my free time. I've learned a lot about myself. My views have somewhat alienated me from some people in my family, but fortunately not to the same extent as Petrovsky. I agree with him that you have to be true to yourself, no matter what the cost.

That quote is also for the academic/career path I've taken so far. I breezed through school and landed what most would consider a very good job. I think I was regarded as a talent young up-and-comer, but like Professor Petrovsky I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't right for me. I tried to make it work for a while, but eventually I knew that I didn't belong there. He found a career in law that he "felt like he was truly born to do." I hope I'll find something that I feel as strongly about, but now I know that poker isn't it.

STACKED

I should be getting a copy of this about a week before the release date, and I'll write up a review. It sounds pretty cool:

"Stacked so far seems to be the first game to come anywhere close to presenting the popular card game with a believable sense of realism."
- Card Player Magazine

"Halo with Chips"
- Maxim

"The most complete and challenging poker engine available"
- Official Xbox Magazine


"The Madden of poker"
- ESPN The Magazine

Cut off their junk

I've always said that when I run for President, my campaign will center around mandatory sterilization at birth. Upon reaching an appropriate age (18? 21? 25? 40?) and demonstrating some amount of responsibility (high school education? steady employment? no major criminal record?), adults could apply to have their genitals reattached.

These people's application for reproductive ability would hopefully have been rejected.

massive facial assualt: flamingo dive-bomb

I was rushing out my door this morning, and as I hurried around a corner something smacked me in the face. I didn't see anything coming at all; I was just totally blindsided. It wasn't especially painful, but it felt like getting hit in the face with a wet tennis ball.

Naturally my eyes closed in response to this unprovoked facial assault, and I felt something in them so I was slow about reopening them. But while they were closed, right after the impact I did hear a bird beating its wings and it seemed pretty loud and close to my head.

All of that happened within a split second, and I was sitting there thinking "holy crap did a bird just fly into my face?" and remembering the Randy Johnson bird pitch:



So in spite of feeling something in my eyes, I eventually open them, and I immediately notice a big black splatter all over my chest. And I realize I'm seeing that while looking across the massive black clod that has landed on my nose. A glance at my reflection in a window showed massive amounts of dark black bird crap splattered all over my face, eyes and chest.

Now this wasn't like the cute little black and white bird poo that sometimes lands on your shoulder while you're walking in the park. This was like a big pile of caked mud and sticks. Even though it was a good amount of matter, I'm still confused by how much force it hit me with.

I looked around on the ground around me, half expecting to see a wounded bird writhing on the ground, but there was nothing. So I guess it must have just been a damned giant condor flying over my house at the precise wrong moment.

But I'm still not sure that a bird didn't fly into my face. Maybe it pulled up at the last second and kind of just smashed into my dome with its chest and underbelly, and then vacated its bowels all over me.

Regardless, I clearly should have taken a picture of my ridiculous self, but it didn't occur to me until after I had washed the massive flamingo dive-bomb off my face.

Where do my hits come from?

I like to reverse stalk my stalkers sometimes. My last 100 hits include referrals from the following:

Top 100 Blogs in Africa - at some point I lied about my location. Now I'm an African blog-God.

Google search for "awesome words" - pretty cool that this search leads to me (~6 or 8 hits)

Google search for "jj redick poetry" - By contrast, it sucks that this search leads to me. I get lots of hits from that kind of search too. (~2 or 3 hits)

Dogpile search for "how to present yourself appearance wise" - HA! I kinda want to know more about this guy.

Google search for "prima nocta wikipedia" - 1.) This guy is impressively lazy that he wouldn't go to wikipedia first, and then search. 2.) I have to assume he's a pervert, not a scholar. 3.) I wonder if he liked my blog...

Google search for "beard growing guide" - hell yes! (~5 or 6 hits)

Google search for "ruined Katie Holmes" - screw you, Tom Cruise.

Yahoo! search for "cock hungry coeds xxx" - wow. I guess this isn't a family site any more. I hope he at least signed up for Party Poker while he was here.

Yahoo! search for "Doyle Brunson sitings" - I wrote up something after a trip to Vegas last year about famous people I saw. I didn't bother to write up anything about poker player sitings after my recent Vegas trip because just about every famous poker player was there.

High Stakes Head Games

As a poker player and poker fan, I'm fascinated by high-stakes head games. And so when I noticed Lebron James say something to Gilbert Arenas and then tap his chest in the closing moments of game 6 of the opening round playoff series between the Cavs and the Wizards, I immediately hoped that everyone else noticed it and that I'd get to hear more.

After the game, both players answered questions about the incident, admitting that Lebron was trying to mess with Gilbert's mind. And it worked. Arenas missed the free-throw and basically cost his team the game.

I haven't watched a ton of coverage of that incident, but the little I've seen has focused on whether Lebron's move was unsportsmanlike or just part of the game. And I've agreed with the consensus that head-games are part of playing sports at a high level. This isn't polite tea and scones at the country club, it is war. If the refs let you do it, it is fair game.

But to me, the interesting part of it isn't as much what Lebron did, as how Gilbert reacted. As a modest Wizards fan, my very first reaction when I saw what Lebron was doing was an outraged "he can't do that!" and I wondered if the refs would do anything. They didn't. And that is when Gilbert should have done something.

What should he have done? Well whenever you ask a "what should you do" question about basketball, the best way to solve the problem is the WWJD method: What Would Jordan Do?

Can you imagine anyone trying to pull that stunt on Michael Jordan? There is absolutely no way in hell he would have let anyone get away with talking to him, yet alone touching him while he was at the line. He probably would have refrained from ripping out the trash-talker's throat, but he would have gotten up in his face and unleashed a profane tirade sharp enough to literally sever the testicles of the insolent fool.

MJ wasn't just the greatest basketball player ever, he was also the greatest trash talker ever. Jordan was the supreme alpha dog in a league full of alpha dogs. Everyone has their place in the pecking order, and he took every opportunity to tell everyone that they were below him.

So with the answer to the hypothetical WWJD, we can also look at very recent precedent. I can't find a video of it (lil help anyone?) but in last night's Suns-Clippers game, my boy Sam Cassell tried to run the same trick when Tim Thomas was at the foul line. A career bench player and underachiever, Thomas immediately put his hand in Sam's face and shoved him out of the way while yelling at him. Granted that was probably just a joke between two good friends in the 3rd quarter of a blowout, but still. If you can't be like Mike, you'd expect that an all-star like Arenas could at least be like Tim, right?

But what did Gilbert do?

NOTHING!



Watch Gilbert's face when Lebron talks to him - he's like a terrified child. During the timeout afterwards, he looks like he just wants to crawl into a hole and die. While some are optimistic about future of Gilbert Arenas and the Wizards, I'm not so sure.

How do you come back from that? Gilbert didn't assert himself. He didn't stand up to Lebron. He meekly surrendered to a superior. Game over.

huge self-indulgent poker/life post coming soon?

I feel it coming, but I just don't have the focus to write it quite yet. I've been playing very little poker the last few days, and doing lots of thinking about my life: where I've been, where I am, where I'm going.

It is time for a change.

I've been looking through some of the things I've written, and I thought these 6 old entries weave an interesting story line through this mish-mash that I call my blog.

2/28/05 Why I quit my job

3/7/05 What I said I wanted to do with myself

6/17/05 What I actually did, what I thought I wanted to do

10/12/05 Wasting time, then and now

10/15/05 Making lemonade

1/5/06 I turn down a prospective employer

Roughly speaking, I think those partially tell the story of how misguided ideals and strong inertia tricked me into thinking of myself as a professional poker player. This is the story that I'll delve into if the huge self-indulgent poker/life post does happen.

By the way, the spell check blogger.com provides doesn't recognize the word "blog."

Sam Cassell

Sam Cassell is awesome. Sam Cassell is from Baltimore. Sam Cassell wins basketball games. Here is Sam Cassell on Sam Cassell (I found this on J. A. Adande's blog.)

"One thing about me, I need five guys that's willing to give it up, man. To every night take that court and fight hard. If you do that man, I swear, I can't predict the future, but I can tell you one thing: we're going to win some basketball games. We're going to win more than you won last year.

"People don't realize, when I went to Milwaukee, Ray Allen was a good player. I made him an all-star. I'm not saying I did it all by myself, but I had a big part in him and Glen Robinson becoming all-stars when I was there. I went to Minnesota, Kevin Garnett was not mentioned for the MVP. He was first team, but was he mentioned for MVP candidate? I make him the MVP. He will make me a second-team all-NBA player and an all-star, but I had a whole lot to do - Sprewell and myself - with his development in becoming an MVP. Know what I'm saying?"

What does it take to draw it out of these guys?

"Push 'em. Push 'em Elton Brand's an example. I said, 'Elton, if you want to be a top 10 power forward, you've got to be able to hit the 15-foot jumper. Everything else you do is cool, you've got to take your jump shot. Because people only play you inside.' Now he took his game out 15 feet, I said, 'You make six jumpers, that's 12 points. You get 10 points inside, 22. Free throws, now you've got 26.' It's simple. And you shoot uncontested jump shots, because in the pick-and-roll, his guy double-teams me.

"Nick Van Exel's my best friend. He said, 'Boy you've got a chance to take that team somewhere that they never in their wildest desire thought they could reach. He said, 'Man, you're what the doctor ordered for those guys.' A guy who won't put up with some (stuff), a guy who won't let us feel sorry. I'm not going to. No, [bleep] that. You know what I'm saying? We walk into an arena, we're not going to walk into an arena and say, 'Okay, we're going to play for 44 minutes and lose in the last four minutes.' [Bleep] that. You walk into an arena, we say, 'We're going to beat these [bleeps].' Cause there's nothing like beating somebody on their court. Makes the plane ride better, know what I'm saying? That's all it's about, man. We're going to represent well here. But on the road? That's where your pride factor is.

" Who would have thought that this team would advance in the playoffs? Don't give me the credit for it. I'm just going what I've been doing. I'm just doing what I've been doing my whole [bleeping] career. Elton Brand. Corey Maggette was playing all-star basketball until he [bleeped] is foot up. Cuttino Mobley. When Corey got hurt, I had to become the second scorer. Now I can sit up here and play 24 minutes and see the development of Shaun. I'm well rested. So I know I've got to play big from here on out, or it won't be successful. I'm cool. It's all about winning for me. I've done scored points, I've done had assists. It's all about winning for me. Because I want to coach in this league.

"I look at Avery Johnson, what he accomplished, and I want to be that same kind of coach. Here's the job. Do your job. If you can't do your job, somebody else got to come do it.
We ain't throwing you away. But for a minute or two - or three or four - somebody else'll step in and do it.

"I tell them, do what you do. Everybody on this team. Do what you do."

misc good reading

Here are some blog entries that caught my eye recently.

led astray, unintended consequences

My friend Whitney writes about how his blog has become a lot different than how it started, a change that mirrors "the gradual decay of friendships inevitably caused by the insurmountable passing of time." I relate strongly to his feelings about drifting away from friends and the "yearnful past," as well as the "unintended consequences" of deciding to start a blog.

Goodlatte's Bill Approved by Subcommittee

Lou Krieger, a well-respected poker author, reports on the pending legislation that threatens online poker. He thinks that the bill is just a political game that is ultimately doomed to failure after elections this fall.

Reason for hope

Mark I. Vuletic, a doctoral candidate, philosopher of religion and Marine Corps Corporal, briefly points out that many religious people "respect science and support proper science education."

Reply to Aspiring Theologian

A true gem from the same author. The link above requires some introduction. Vuletic first points out the absurd hypocrisy and shamefully poor reasoning of some people of faith by contrasting a feel-good story in a Christian publication and a heartbreaking story from Darfur. A commenter named "Aspiring Theologian" responded to it in defense of his God, and I found Vuletic's reply to him quite beautiful.

Businesses that I hate UPDATE

1. Comcast sucks.
2. Fandango sucks.

New:
3. Tom Cruise sucks.

A cool thing about capitalism is that if a company sucks, you can stop doing business with them. If enough people think they suck and stop doing business with them, the business either stops sucking or dies. Plus you can tell your friends about bad experiences and help expedite the process.

So here are businesses that I think should either stop sucking or die.

1. Fandango - Movie tickets online. Fandango sucks.

I tried to order 2 tickets to the Narnia movie for tonight. This message has been on my screen for 10 minutes.

The page has no option for what to do if the screen never changes. The last 2 times I've tried to use this stupid site to order tickets this has happened. It is the online equivalent of some asshole telling you he'll meet you somewhere but he never shows up, never calls, and didn't give you any way of getting in touch with him. Unless they personally apologize to me and give me free shit, I'm not going to try to use them ever again. I doubt I care enough to email them about my problem, so chances are good that I'll never Fandango again.



2. Comcast - cable television and high-speed internet. Comcast sucks.

new: how to give comcast less of your money if you insist on sticking with them

Fandango's offenses are a minor nuisance compared to the astonishing sins of Comcast. Fuck Comcast. Fuck Comcast. I hate Comcast. Fuck Comcast. I was a Comcast customer for 3 years, and I consistently dealt with their terrible customer service and incompetent employees. I've blasted them before and I'm too lazy to look up exactly what I wrote before but here's a quick list of way I can remember being wronged by Comcast (FUCK COMCAST!):

• Installation in my new house took over week from their scheduled install date because the disgruntled install guy quit in the middle of the job. He showed up complaining, after a while told me he didn't have a part or something and that he'd come back, and never came back. Comcast sent somebody else out a week later, only after I called them wondering why the first guy never came back. (The 2nd guy was a disgusting slob and actually told me I should get DirectTV instead. Shoulda listened to their fat slob.)

• My TV and Internet connection went out. I called and they said it would be back within 24 hours because they could fix it remotely. 24 hours later it was still off, so I called again. Each call takes like 15 minutes to talk to a real person, by the way. This time they said they'd have to send someone out to fix it. Great, thanks for making me wait a day to determine that. "We can schedule someone to come out in 7 days." What the fuck, 7 days?? Sorry that's the best we can do. You can maybe call back tomorrow and see if a new appointment opens up. So I call back the next day and by some miracle they have an appointment a few days sooner. So I tell them to switch me. That day comes, and the appointment time comes and goes with nobody showing up. I call, and they have no record of me scheduling an appointment. The idiots cancelled my 1st appointment but never booked the new one. I have to schedule yet another one. Finally after 10 days it gets fixed, and nobody even had to come out to my house. They were able to fix it remotely, WHICH THEY COULD HAVE DONE ON THE FIRST FUCKING DAY.

• They didn't automatically credit me back for the 10 days of outage. I had to call for it. When I called they only were going to give me back the prorated 10 day portion of my monthly bill, when it specifically says on the monthly bill that I should get a credit for 10% of my total monthly bill for each day of outage. I read the statement from my Comcast bull to the moron on the phone, and he refused to give me the credit. I had to file a formal complaint with the Mongomery County Government's franchise board to make Comcast give me the money they owed me.

Those are the 3 most recent and flagrant abuses I suffered at the hands of the shitbirds at Comcast. I switched to DirectTV and Verizon DSL a few months ago, and hopefully I'll never have to do business with Comcast ever again. Everyone I've dealt with from DirectTV has been extremely nice and professional. My DirectTV install guy actually quit his job with Comcast to work for DirectTV. I have a burning hatred for Comcast now, and I mention it loudly and often. I hope they lose business because of me. FUCK COMCAST.



3. Tom Cruise - Actor. Tom Cruise Sucks.

First of all, don't anyone object that Tom Cruise isn't a business, because this guy is worth well over $200 million, maybe even over a billion dollars. He generated more movie revenue than any other Hollywood actor in 2005. Everything he touches generates a stream of money, so there is definitely a business of Tom Cruise.

With that out of the way, I'm still not quite sure how best to deal with my disdain for Tom Cruise. I've generally been willing to separate my personal negative feelings about an entertainer from my enjoyment of their entertainment. Lots of musicians, actors, and athletes are fairly despicable people or make ridiculous political statements. But I've usually decided to just enjoy their music, movies and games and ignore the rest.

Even with Cruise's idiotic religion, questionable sexuality, bizarre antics, and his recent role in the destruction of Katie Holmes, I probably wouldn't have felt the need to take a stand against him until he took a stand against South Park.

Most of you probably know the story, but the short version is that South Park ran a hilarious episode blasting Tom Cruise and Scientology, which led to scientologist Isaac Hayes quitting the show. Then apparently Cruise put pressure on Viacom, the company that owns Comedy Central not to rerun the episode by threatening not to promote Mission Impossible III, which is also a Viacom product. Viacom caved.

It was a great episode of South Park, and I'm bummed that I haven't gotten a chance to see it again. And while I've enjoyed a lot his movies, Tom Cruise is to blame, and I must respond.

I'm boycotting Mission Impossible III. I hope everyone else who enjoys South Park does too.I've heard that Cruise gets 30% of box office revenue and 40% of DVD sales on this movie. I don't know if that is true (actually I don't know if any of these stories about him are true), but I know that I don't want him getting a nickel from me for this movie. Mission Impossible II was pretty lame anyway.

This is a list of businesses that I hope either stop sucking or die. I'd prefer that Tom Cruise stop sucking (I wouldn't actually wish death upon him just for being an idiot, but if he keeps sucking I might wish death upon his career.) He's been in some awesome movies, and he'll probably be in more awesome movies. I doubt he'll get uncrazy, but maybe he'll at least get a new publicist that stops him from saying and doing crazy shit in front of the media.

A few days late but...

Happy 51st birthday to my Mother.


Happy 82nd birthday to my Grandfather

Poker 2006: BLEGH!

I've barely won any money in 2006, and I just got back from a bust of a "business trip" to Vegas. I'm frustrated with poker to the point where I've started looking at job listings and thinking about my resume. I've barely won any money in 2006, and I just got back from a bust of a "business trip" to Vegas.

I'm still thinking a lot about going back to school, but the earliest I could go back would be fall of 2007. I need to pay the bills between now and whenever school happens (if school does happen), and its pretty hard to see poker doing it for me the way I'm going.

I could offer various explanations for my lack of success, but one thing that I'm sure of is that my heart and my head just haven't been in the game. Since I've been back in town, I've played 1661 hands of $2/4 hold'em and lost an astonishing $687. That is 172 bets, losing over 10 bb/100 hands. At $2/4. Pathetic.

But from this low, there is still some hope. I feel a bit refreshed after being away for a while, and something has snapped in the way I've been seeing the 6max limit game, especially postflop. Since I've been back I've won $1176.54 in 6167 hands at 5/10 and 3/6, good for 2.28 bb/100 in a very small sample size. And most of that 2/4 disaster was 8-tabling to try to quickly clear a bonus. And looking at the long term, I've still managed to cover all my expenses since I quit my job, even if I haven't been able to build up my bankroll.

I find myself alternating between playing great and playing like an idiot, and wondering what my bank account would look like if I switched to either of those extremes on a full-time basis. Poker is a great hobby, but a tough way to make a living unless you are an elite player. But it looks like the only available jobs that I'm qualified for are pretty terrible too, so for the next month or two I'll try to bring my "A-game" all the time.