Online Poker Screen Names 2

When you sign up to play poker at an online casino, you pick a screen name that other players see when you sit at a table. Here are some names I've played against. Players in red are losers in games I've played; green are winners.

(Online Poker Screen Names 1)

Sexual/Vulgarity:

• CugeHock - This must be Jon Reremy's alias
• RATDICK - Now that I think of it, Jon Reremy kinda looks like a rat.
• Stu Pidasso - This must be Ben Dover's alias
• BenDovr - Hmm, maybe not
• bend_over - I guess we dropped the formality
• TapalotaPuss - Sounds like a Bond girl. Um, actually maybe a Bond guy. No, that doesn't make sense either. Let's just move on.

Weird:

• KhanhAir - This is one of two things. Best case is that this guy's name is Khanh, or he's somehow affiliated with something named Khanh. In that case, he decided to come up with a play on words and related his name to the name of the movie "Con Air." That's like when my friend Erm had the IM screenname "ErmNHammer." I understand the pun and all, but couldn't you have come up with something cooler than baking soda or a crappy movie? (Yes, Con Air is on my honorary mention Badass Movies list, but I'm trying to make a point.) So that's the "good" case. The worse case is that this guy is in no way associated with the name Khanh at all, and he just thought he'd come up with an alternate spelling for Con Air. That would be really really weird.

• CMSyouup - "I'm on some team called CMS. We'll mess you up." NOBODY ON PARTY POKER KNOWS WHAT CMS IS! NOBODY CARES!! YOU CAN'T TALK SHIT WHEN NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

• CubstoWSin03 - Its early 2003, and you are sitting in your Chicago apartment. You're a big Cubs fan, and are thinking about baseball while you sign up to play Party Poker. Excited about your team's chances for the upcoming season, you decide to choose a name to predict success for your team. But you are a complete rampant idiot. The Cubs didn't make the World Series in 2003, and now its 2005 and you are still using this name. Also, if you are going to make big, bold and erroneous predictions about your team, why do you only pick them to get to the World Series? Why not pick them to win it? You should go throw yourself under the A-train.

• PsychoErectus -This is just a great name. Bravo. With a mind capable of producing this name, its no wonder he's won $347.50 in the 68 hands I've seen him play.
  

• weed4zeke -On the other hand, this moron has won $294.50 in 70 hands, proving that poker is for morons.
  

Gross:

• mymomishot - Oh I know she is.

Funny References:

• deadhooker - I'll assume this is a reference to a great scene from "Dirty Work."

• rikjaymesbch - Weird spelling of "I'm Rick James, bitch!" By the way, Dave Chappelle disappeared after signing a $50 million contract, and then turned up in a mental hospital in South Africa. I'm not making that up.

• SunTzu68 - I only include this because it leads me to the conclusion that someone, somewhere has probably combined Sun Tzu and 69. All's fair in love and war?

• fishbulbman - Homer Simpson is the fishbulbman.