Since a disturbing amount of my traffic comes from people searching for J.J. Redick's poetry, I feel I ought to mention that he was arrested last night for drunk driving. Here's his mugshot.
I won't pretend not to be a bit giddy about this news. After posting bail, J.J. slightly modified his classic poem to fit the occasion. Here is his new version:
My life story is read in poetic stages
I was once sober, now I'm wasted
The cause and effect of a party dudes
The mathematical breakdown of micro-brews
It's difficult to fathom the coming of the rapture
What if I awoke hungover in an empty pasture?
Suddenly every ounce of beer had been depleted
And all my determination had been defeated
The booze pours, my tears fall
The pain subsides, I stand in awe
A lightning bolt strikes, I feel a sudden energy
Thunder clouds approach, I can't run from destiny
A tornado of nausea tears me down, but I will puke again
My life is a keg of Bud Light, but I'll chug it to the end
Hey it could have been worse
At least I didn't rape a stripper
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