Has any professional athlete in the history of sports received more attention for his love life than Tony Parker? I think they mention Eva Longoria at least 8 times per Spurs game, and have been doing so for like 6 years. I don't feel like doing the math, but I'm betting that is way more than Wilt's 10,000. Rick Fox, Sampras, Roddick, Jeter... those guys are no where close to Tony Parker.I'm so sick of the camera cutting to Eva Longoria in the stands after every fucking jumper he hits. I don't care about their wedding plans. I don't care how Eva gets along with the rest of the squad. I don't care how Tony likes Mexico or how Eva likes France. I don't give a shit about Desperate Housewives. I don't want to hear about their sex life. I just want to watch a fucking basketball game without the coverage turning into gossip from the E! Channel all the time.
Who turns on an NBA playoff game and thinks gee I really wish I knew more about the point guard's love life? Don't worry, Craig Sager is on it with a live interview with Eva! "Hey, how does Tony get along with your mother??!!??! Does she speak any French?!!?!??!!!!?!?!!!"
We really need Greg Popovich or Tim Duncan to start slipping hot NBA groupies into Tony Parker's hotel rooms to try to break these two up. Or maybe cast Eva in some romantic role opposite Brad Pitt or Colin Farrell. Those guys always end up banging their costars right? Let's get her in a movie with Pitt and Farrell. And get Parker to hang out with Michael Jordon in Vegas during the All Star game. That has to work, right? Is there any other solution?
Fuck me. I'm sitting here blogging about Tony fucking Parker's girlfriend rather than watching the Western Conference finals. Kill me now.
1 comment:
First of all, you mispronounced Eva Longoria's name. It's "Eva Longoria," not "Eva Longoria." Idiot.
Second, the end of your post has a subtle point to it: this year's conference finals are boring.
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