The last month or so has been weird.
January 20 - Terrible session inspires introspection
January 23 - I playfully use graphs to recap
January 26 - I sit for 2 hours in Party's $5/10 6max games, and do it again
Jan 27 to Feb 6 - I keep playing that game, with various ups and downs.
February 7 - I plan for 8 more weeks of fairly heavy volume in that game.
February 14 - Recap of the 30 hours I put in the first week
Usually when I introspect after a terrible session, I end up trying to show enthusiasm for some new plan to make maximum use of my strengths while avoiding or overcoming my weaknesses. Not on January 20:
Unfortunately financial constraints force me to try to maintain a minimum level of income, and laziness constraints limit the hours I play, so I tend to want to play higher than I probably should. I've said this same shit so many times, and I keep having the same problem.... This game is hard. It seeks out my weaknesses and exploits them. You can do the income math on the numbers above. Its not impressive at all... As it is, I'm just barely getting by month to month. I always try to make these kind of entries have a positive spin. "If I do this or that, I have reason to be optimistic... blah blah..." Should I really be optimistic? I think it is pretty clear by now that given my skill level, expenses, and endurance, I'm going to struggle to build a bankroll and move up to higher limits... Anyway, the fact that my prospects for advancing are based more on capital infusions than hard work or skill is probably an indication that I won't be a professional poker player in 5 years. I've been thinking of other things I might like to do, but most of them will take some time to get started, so I think I'll be doing this for at least another year if I can make it.
No plan, and no enthusiasm. Basically I just say I'll keep trudging on cause I don't have anything better to do. In keeping with that spirit, I randomly decided to start playing the one game that had tortured me for than any other. The results?
Pretty good picture. Now, I can actually play the grizzled veteran and say that I've been doing this long enough not to get excited about a 15,000 hand stretch of results I like.
But something that does make me feel pretty good is the 30 hours I put in last week. Considering I've averaged 22.5 hrs/week since I went pro, that's an exceptionally good week for me. And it didn't feel like I played that much. I'm hoping that something about this particular game makes it easier for me to put in more hours.
Furthermore, while the 2.22 BB/100 in the 15k hands above is well above the 0.76 BB/100 for 120,000 overall hands that I mentioned on January 20th, it actually isn't too far out of line for my results at the $5/10 limit for both short and ring games across various sites.
Since November 1 I've made 1.77 BB/100 in 40,000 hands at $5/10.
And I've done some bitching and moaning in that time. Note that the graph features 3 large downswings of increasing size: 180, 200, and 260 big bets. But it does keep going up. And I've kept on playing.
It just weird that after all this time, I'm finally showing signs that I can do this the right way. I'm putting in hours. I'm being very diligent about game selection. I'm making good decisions in spite of the emotions of a high-variance game. And all of it just happened, almost on a lark.
I'm not ready to proclaim that I've turned some corner, but I like what is happening lately. Hopefully knowing that I've struggled through and survived 3 large downswings will help with the next one. We'll see how the rest of the 8 week plan goes.
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