Wednesday, November 12, 2008
America: "Fuck you, Whales!"
The Supreme Court says it is very important that the US Navy be allowed to kill whales because maybe the imaginary submarine enemies might maybe theoretically possibly be coming for us. So for all you whales who don't want to suffer from "hemorrhaging around the brain and ears, acute spongiotic changes in the central nervous system, and lesions in vital organs" I guess you better move to someplace safer where American military delusion won't find you. Unfortunately there are no such places.
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3 comments:
Well, hey...you can't be too careful. You never know when Sean Connery is going to hijack a nuclear Soviet submarine and threaten the United States with annihilation.
Yeah but he'd be secretly on our fucking side, and with Baldwin too far up Obama's ass to puzzle it out, who is going to help us? The whales, that's who. Except that we already killed them, and now it is nuclear winter for everyone.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
I think in that case, humpback whales were hunted to extinction but regardless, if it's not the nasty submarine enemy we're definitely gonna face a gigantic flying cigar that sucks up all the earth's water (threatening our own extinction) in order to say "'Sup whales?"
Lesson: Our stupidity will kill us. That is unless we slingshot around the sun in order to time travel and warn ourselves not to fuck things up. But shit, we're not gonna listen.
LIVE LONG AND PROSPER BITCHES!
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