Ease the tension

I hate it when a poker player berates his opponent for bad play after a hand. They do it because they are frustrated to have lost a hand to someone who played poorly, but it bothers me because aside from being rude, it is bad for the game. What are these jerks trying to accomplish? Do you want your opponents to play better? Do you want bad players to feel offended and leave? Obviously they don't consider that, and just lash out because it helps heal their wounded ego.

Usually when I see this happening at my table, I lightly make fun of the player who was doing the insulting. A lot of the time that shuts them up, or makes them see how dumb they are being. My goal is to diffuse the tension and make everything friendly, something any entrepreneur does when there is a loud fight in their place of business.

But when that doesn't work, sometimes I have to get creative. Recently, at a table I was playing on Paradise Poker, some jerk wouldn't stop ranting about how "online poker is rigged," and that "all his opponents are bullshit."

So I started typing, "Yeah poker is mostly bullshit. But at least I don't have to talk to my wife. She knows not to talk to me when I play."

I get a smattering of "lol" and "haha." Encouraged, I continue.

"Yeah, last time she tried to talk to me when I was playing I lost the hand and got really mad. So I stepped on her kitten."

"HA!"

"lol!!"

I'm rolling now. "The next day I went out and got her another kitten. Not because I felt bad. That way she wouldn't talk to me while I'm playing again because she still has something to lose."

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA!"


Who wouldn't want to play at my table?