Monday, May 22, 2006

best buy prank


This is awesome.

80 people in blue shirts all flood into a Best Buy and just stand around pretending to be employees. Very amusing.

  • A dude walked up to me and said: "Are you guys demonstrating or protesting or something?" I said: "Oh, I'm just waiting for my girlfriend, she's somewhere around here." And he says: "So the shirts....?" And I said: "Shirts?" A security guard walked by and said to the dude, "Sir, this man does not even work here, do not ask him questions."
  • A little while later, an older woman with a handful of products walked past me at one point muttering to herself, "Everyone in this goddamned store is wearing a blue shirt and nobody knows a thing!"
  • Both security guards loudly advanced their own theories about what was going on. One security guard didn't know who the group was, but suspected that it was some cult, because, "They all have that zombie look in their eyes. They just stand there staring at nothing." They also argued about if the prank was funny or not. One did not think it was funny at all and the other said he thought it was "kinda funny," and tried to explain the humor, "What if you went into Home Depot and there were all these people wearing orange aprons all over the store?" "That's completely different." A few employees tried to get me to spill the secret on what the group was, and another employee came over twice and asked me in a hushed voice, "Are YOU a police officer?"

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Rounders and Life

HDouble has used quotes from movies as a framework for poker discussion several times. Bill Simmons once did a pair of articles where he used quotes from Rounders to discuss the 2001-2002 NBA season.

Here's my version (as promised)...


"You don't hear much about guys who take their shot and miss. But I'll tell you what happens to 'em. They wind up humping crappy jobs on graveyard shifts trying to figure out how they came up short."

I took my shot, and I missed. Playing poker for a living just isn't going to work for me any more. Hopefully I'll be able to find a better job than the crappy truck route Mike McD humps.


"Time to time everyone goes bust."

I didn't get cleaned out in a real blood game over at KGB's place. I haven't lost everything I have. I still have 6 months of living expenses plus a small bankroll. I still own my house and car, and my girlfriend hasn't left me (yet). Going bust was never really an option for me. I've approached this in a conservative way, and while that has prevented me from going bust, perhaps it held me back from greater success. Who knows.


"Well my uncle Les says when the money's gone it's time to move on."

Worm's uncle is a master of common sense. My money isn't all gone, but after more than a year it is clear that I'm not going to make much of a living this way. I could probably keep scraping by. And while I've never had grand aspirations of wealth, I'd like to be able to raise my standard of living a bit.


"Now the closest I get to Vegas is West New York, driving this lousy route handed down from Knish to rounders who forget the cardinal fucking rule: always leave yourself outs."

At least I didn't forget the rule. I haven't played well for months, but I've been able to keep getting by because I left myself outs - chasing bonuses, earning rakeback, selling ads on my blogs. And I should have plenty of outs beyond poker. I have a degree from a good school and a few years of experience with a highly respected company.


-"Hey Knish. How are you?"
-"The same."

The awkward exchange between Knish and Mike's girlfriend (did she even have a name? I think I vaguely remember her being called Jo) succinctly drives home how stagnant a poker career can be. Every day you just sit in a chair and fold most of your hands. It gets old.


"Does he look like a man beaten by Jacks?"

One of the funniest quotes of the movie goes to an odd success I've always had with casino poker. I'm very often complimented on my poker skills, praise that I've always judged to be sincere. In some cases it is just because I'm willing to sit there and fold for 3 hours in a row, so when I finally play a hand everyone assumes I must have Aces. (Thus I don't look like a man beaten by Jacks.) But many times I've received compliments from excellent players who would certainly base their opinions on more subtle factors than my patience. And since my results certainly haven't been nearly as spectacular as the praise would seem to warrant, I conclude that I must just give off a good player vibe. I'm not sure if this is in any way useful, but compliments are always nice.


"I'm right on schedule, up $4200. Morning can't get here soon enough."

This quote goes to all the ridiculous expectations of success that people have about poker, myself included. Mike McD has been playing $20/40 stud for a few hours and he casually says that being up over 100 big bets is "right on schedule." Even the best players in the world couldn't expect to make more than a few bets per hour in the easiest of games, but people in the poker community tend to think about their best sessions ever and assume they can project a reasonable win rate based on that. In thousands of sessions of modestly winning poker, I've had very few +100BB sessions in a limit game.


"$220? That's like 11 bets..."

Speaking of ridiculous expectations, taking 11 bets to a limit game is crazy, even if you are base-dealing to a bunch of trust-fund babies. Bankroll management is another area where popular opinion is way off, in my opinion. The "standard" bankroll you'll read about on most websites and in most poker books is 200 to 500 bets for a limit game. I think 1,000 is a much better number for a pro.


"They all know me as a small-timer, but that's about to change."

This quote is when Mike decides to put his entire bankroll on the table in a high-stakes no-limit game. Taking shots at bigger games that your bankroll shouldn't really allow is how a lot of very successful players made their way up through the limits. I think it is a good idea to occasionally take shots, but only under optimum conditions. To me this means:

  • The bigger game looks very soft - usually because you recognize several weak players who usually play lower stakes.
  • You are feeling on top of your game and have no emotional distractions at all.
  • You've been winning a lot lately at your usual stakes.
  • You set a clear stop-loss limit
Those are all fairly straightforward parameters. But there are more subjective factors that should also be considered:
  • Would losing more money cause you to make bad decisions in the bigger game or your regular game?
  • Would exposure to the higher stakes numb you to the smaller stakes of your regular game?
  • Will you be able to honestly evaluate the reasons for success or failure over a sample sample size?
Last summer I took a shot at the $15/30 level online when I was meeting all the first set of parameters. But it was the second set that ultimately led to my failure at those stakes, which severely set back my poker career. Actually, I probably still haven't recovered.


"Maybe this is a game can be beat. But you know you can beat the 10/20 at the Chesterfield."

Having a game that you can reliably beat to fall back on makes it a lot easier to take shots at moving up. There are stories of how Phil Ivey and Jen Harmon were 'stuck' for a long time, not able to move past a certain limit. So they kept dropping back down, rebuilding their bankroll and taking another shot. Eventually they beat the bigger game and never looked back. But they might not have been able to make it if not for the ability to beat the smaller game and the willingness to do it.

Knowing what I know now, I'm not sure I've ever had a 10/20 Chesterfield game that I know I can beat (for an hourly rate good enough to make a living). At certain points in my career I thought I did, but I was probably basing that on too small a sample size. I've spent most of the last 6 months bouncing between full-handed and short-handed, limit and no-limit at several different stakes, but never really found a reliable bread-and-butter game.


"Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker."

This quote is for the tools that helped me spot the suckers. Almost every site has a note-taking feature, which is a great starting point. But to play several tables at the same time, I think there are some indispensable software tools. Poker Tracker is a database program that I use to store all my hand histories and sort the information in a useful way. PokerAce and GameTime+ are programs that automatically project your Poker Tracker stats onto the game windows while you play. All are well worth their modest price tags (GT+ is still free I think).

"Man, you're fixin to go down hard. It almost seems like you want to."

Mike finally confronted Worm about his reckless choices, and even though he seemed to know that Worm would drag Mike down with him, he kept going anyway.

Like Mike, I let it happen even though I saw it coming:

2/28/05 I say I'm not quitting my job to become a poker pro.

3/7/05 "To do: Create a resume and post it on Monster and other such places." Never happened.

4/12/05 What I do question is my emotional capacity for coping with adversity.

6/17/05 I concede that I can't play poker more than 20~30 hours per week, and decide I want to fill my time with other productive things.

10/12/05 "When people ask me what I do with my time, I don't really have an answer."

11/15/05 A beautiful woman took quite an interest in me just a few days after my girlfriend dumped me, but I just wanted watch a tape of a chubby Chinese man pretending to be scared of a goofy redneck. She tried to kiss me, but I told her to go away. Looking back on it, I was making some pretty questionable decisions here.

1/20/06 "Anyway, the fact that my prospects for advancing are based more on capital infusions than hard work or skill is probably an indication that I won't be a professional poker player in 5 years."

3/5/06 "I need to figure out a better way to approach poker as long as it is going to be my primary income source."

So I've been noticing problems for at least a year. And then yesterday I wrote this in my diary, which I guess was finally the wake-up call I needed:

5/18/06 "A bunch of municipal workers from Binghamton just beat the shit out of me and my friend. I think my nose might be broken. They took all of my money and I owe $15,000 to the Russian mob tomorrow. I think I'm in trouble. Maybe my teacher can give me some money..."


"I want him to think that I'm pondering a call. But all I'm really thinking about is Vegas and the fucking Mirage."

This quote is for all the times I let something divert my focus from my a hand of poker. From distractions like television and instant messenger, to emotions like frustration and anger, or the hazes from fatigue or alcohol, I let way too many things keep me from making the most profitable decisions.


"This isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money."

While Mike decided to cowboy up and sit back down with KGB, I think I was always pretty good about leaving my ego behind. I certainly let a million things distract me, but I never let my ego get in the way of a financial decision when it came to poker. So I figure I won't let me ego keep me from the financial decision of moving on from poker. Like Joey Knish said, "I'm not playing for the thrill of fucking victory here. I owe rent, alimony, child support. I play for money. My kids eat." If poker can't pay the bills, something else will.


"Now some people might look down on Worm's mechanics, call it immoral. But as Canada Bill Jones says, it is immoral to let a sucker keep his money."

This quote is for the high profile internet players who were recently busted for cheating in tournaments by entering multiple times using several different accounts. What was more shocking than their total lack of contrition was the amount of support and defense they got from a lot of people in the poker community.

Multi-accounting, aside from being clearly against the terms and conditions of the poker sites, results in the significant likelihood of a player occupying two seats at the same table, which clearly violates the spirit of fairness of the game. It takes a great deal of imagination to contort the actions even into an ethical grey area, yet many were willing to outright excuse them.

Poker is a predatory game. The strong feed on the weak, and it feels like easy money. That situation is always going to attract an element who are willing to compromise or ignore ethics to make an extra buck. While I might think of myself as one of the good guys, I'm still some kind of a hustler, and it is a bit uncomfortable to be even remotely associated with cheaters and their apologists.

"You keep grinding out that rent money Joe. Its noble work you're doing."

Worm's pot-shot at Knish is for my desire to do something that has some value to society.


"Joey Knish is a NY legend. He's been a rounder, earning his living at cards, since he was 19."

Speaking of Knish, the quote that introduced him is for all of the young poker prodigies who dominate the 2+2 forums. I don't know how so many 18 and 19 year olds are so good at poker. And it can be easy to think that if they can make so much money, so can I. But I can't.

Some of those kids are truly great players who will make an excellent living from poker. Some of them are cheaters. Lots of them are decent players who have just gotten very lucky so far. Some of them will eventually be great players, and most of them will settle into the middle of the pack. And lots of what you read there are exaggerations or outright lies.

Whoever they are, comparing myself to them is only going to frustrate me. Like Max Ehrmann says "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."


"I'm not gonna fuckin' sit in the can and have my friend paying down my debt. I'm not a leech."

Worm is a liar, a cheat, and a felon, but not a leech! He won't take his friend's offer of $10,000 while he's in prison, but he'll run up $7,000 of debt on his friend's name without telling him once he gets out. Lester Murphy is a real man of principle.

I started to know it was time to move on as I've become more and more inclined to accept the generosity of friends and family. I very much appreciate their willingness to help me out, and I'd like to get myself to a point where I could help them out if they ever need it. I don't want to be a leech.


-"They took every fuckin' nickel."
-"I think I got 300 in my boot somewhere."


This desperate exchange between Mike and Worm after they got beat up by the cops is for the kind of desperation I don't want to reach. I've got some home equity that I could borrow against. I've got a 401k from my job that I could liquidate. But I couldn't really bring myself to that. It is just too desperate. Reaching for that $300 in my boot isn't going to solve my problems; it can only delay them.


-"I'm off it"
-"What you're getting cold cards?"

-"No man I quit"

-"What? Are you shitting me?"


Worm acted incredulous that Mike quit poker, but he knew that he'd get him back in the game. I don't think I'm going to totally quit poker, but I must admit that the idea of not playing for several months sounds very appealing. I imagine that some people might be a little shocked at that, but I don't think anyone should really be that surprised. We'll see.

"Just like a young man coming in for a quicky, I feel so unsatisfied."

Everything John Malkovich says in this movie is hilarious, including this line after he quickly loses $10,000 to Mike. Even though I have some bigger reasons for moving on from poker, I admit that I feel unsyyyyatisfied that poor results are part of what is pushing me away. I genuinely thought I could do a lot better than this. I don't like feeling defeated.


"Are you even going to get a job? Are you even going to look? Or are you going to go back to printing those credit cards again?"

I actually started coming to terms with the idea of getting a job a few weeks ago, but I can't quite bring myself to seriously start applying. I've done a bit of work on a generic resume, and I've perused a few job listings, but I haven't quite been able to really get going. Part of the problem is that I don't know exactly what I want to do, so anything I see I keep thinking maybe there's something better. And part of the problem is that I'm lazy.

"I don't know if I'm gonna bring my legal career to a crashing halt before it even starts, but I just can't help myself."

This quote introduces a great scene in the movie, where Mike McD walks into the judges' poker game and reads everyone's hands. This quote is for everyone who's ever had the thought "I don't know what I want to do, and I don't really want a job... guess I'll just go to law school." That thought crossed my mind, but I'm probably not going to follow through on it.

"Some people, pros even, won't play no-limit. They can't handle the swings."

This quote is for my reluctance to play no-limit. I started messing around with it a bit in the last few months, but after a great first week I never really found a comfort zone. Its a shame because NL should give more of an edge to good players than limit, and NL is so wildly popular these days that there is just so much money out there for the taking. But I can't get it.

I should also note that generally the swings in NL aren't as bad as the swings in limit, based on comparing your variance to your earn in both games.


"You're making a run at it aren't you? Rollin' up stake and going to Vegas?"

This quote is for my lack of interest in tournaments. Mike's ambition was to go play in the World Series of Poker. Even though tournaments give you the opportunity to make some huge scores and make a name for yourself, I haven't really put much effort into improving my tournament skills. Part of that was because I figured I was better off earning my hourly rate in a cash game rather than investing my time learning in a game where my expected earn was a lot lower initially. And part of that is because I haven't enjoyed most of the tournaments I've played, probably because I wasn't very good at them. Maybe now that I've got a bit of experience with the NL cash games, that will help my tournament play.


"Last night I sat down at this card table... I felt alive for the first time since I got busted at KGB's."

I haven't had that feeling about poker in a long time. Maybe it will come back.

Unlike Mike McD, I would know never to deliver this line to my girlfriend.


-"Summer clerkship in your office says I know what cards you're holding."
-"I don't bet with jobs like that... let's just say I'll put you at the top of the list"


This exchange between Mike and Judge Marinacci is for my looming job search, reminding me that landing a good job can be more about who you know than who you are. I know a few people who could probably help me get some good jobs in the same kind of business I left a year ago, but I want to see what else is out there.

"Your goal is to win one big bet an hour. That's it."
"Folks around here will tell you, you play for a living... it's like any other job."

These two quotes go together to make such an important point. It was easy to forget that while on a given night I might have won or lost hundreds or even thousands of dollars, I was really only making about $25 per hour. And for most of that time, I simply wasn't treating poker like a job. On paper I might have been a professional poker player, but really I was just an unemployed person with a poker hobby. Doyle Brunson might have been talking about me when he said "The whole problem with most players is that they want success without work. Their mental picture of a successful gambler is like the Hollywood image - some guy betting big money and doing nothing but win."


"The elders said I had a 40 year old's understanding of the midrash by the time I was 12. But by the time I was 13 I know I could never be a rabbi... because for all I understood of the Talmud, I never saw God there."

This is for the soul-searching and contemplation I've been able to do in all my free time. I've learned a lot about myself. My views have somewhat alienated me from some people in my family, but fortunately not to the same extent as Petrovsky. I agree with him that you have to be true to yourself, no matter what the cost.

That quote is also for the academic/career path I've taken so far. I breezed through school and landed what most would consider a very good job. I think I was regarded as a talent young up-and-comer, but like Professor Petrovsky I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't right for me. I tried to make it work for a while, but eventually I knew that I didn't belong there. He found a career in law that he "felt like he was truly born to do." I hope I'll find something that I feel as strongly about, but now I know that poker isn't it.

Friday, May 19, 2006

STACKED

I should be getting a copy of this about a week before the release date, and I'll write up a review. It sounds pretty cool:

"Stacked so far seems to be the first game to come anywhere close to presenting the popular card game with a believable sense of realism."
- Card Player Magazine

"Halo with Chips"
- Maxim

"The most complete and challenging poker engine available"
- Official Xbox Magazine


"The Madden of poker"
- ESPN The Magazine



Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Cut off their junk

I've always said that when I run for President, my campaign will center around mandatory sterilization at birth. Upon reaching an appropriate age (18? 21? 25? 40?) and demonstrating some amount of responsibility (high school education? steady employment? no major criminal record?), adults could apply to have their genitals reattached.

These people's application for reproductive ability would hopefully have been rejected.

Monday, May 15, 2006

massive facial assualt: flamingo dive-bomb

I was rushing out my door this morning, and as I hurried around a corner something smacked me in the face. I didn't see anything coming at all; I was just totally blindsided. It wasn't especially painful, but it felt like getting hit in the face with a wet tennis ball.

Naturally my eyes closed in response to this unprovoked facial assault, and I felt something in them so I was slow about reopening them. But while they were closed, right after the impact I did hear a bird beating its wings and it seemed pretty loud and close to my head.

All of that happened within a split second, and I was sitting there thinking "holy crap did a bird just fly into my face?" and remembering the Randy Johnson bird pitch:



So in spite of feeling something in my eyes, I eventually open them, and I immediately notice a big black splatter all over my chest. And I realize I'm seeing that while looking across the massive black clod that has landed on my nose. A glance at my reflection in a window showed massive amounts of dark black bird crap splattered all over my face, eyes and chest.

Now this wasn't like the cute little black and white bird poo that sometimes lands on your shoulder while you're walking in the park. This was like a big pile of caked mud and sticks. Even though it was a good amount of matter, I'm still confused by how much force it hit me with.

I looked around on the ground around me, half expecting to see a wounded bird writhing on the ground, but there was nothing. So I guess it must have just been a damned giant condor flying over my house at the precise wrong moment.

But I'm still not sure that a bird didn't fly into my face. Maybe it pulled up at the last second and kind of just smashed into my dome with its chest and underbelly, and then vacated its bowels all over me.

Regardless, I clearly should have taken a picture of my ridiculous self, but it didn't occur to me until after I had washed the massive flamingo dive-bomb off my face.

Where do my hits come from?

I like to reverse stalk my stalkers sometimes. My last 100 hits include referrals from the following:

Top 100 Blogs in Africa - at some point I lied about my location. Now I'm an African blog-God.

Google search for "awesome words" - pretty cool that this search leads to me (~6 or 8 hits)

Google search for "jj redick poetry" - By contrast, it sucks that this search leads to me. I get lots of hits from that kind of search too. (~2 or 3 hits)

Dogpile search for "how to present yourself appearance wise" - HA! I kinda want to know more about this guy.

Google search for "prima nocta wikipedia" - 1.) This guy is impressively lazy that he wouldn't go to wikipedia first, and then search. 2.) I have to assume he's a pervert, not a scholar. 3.) I wonder if he liked my blog...

Google search for "beard growing guide" - hell yes! (~5 or 6 hits)

Google search for "ruined Katie Holmes" - screw you, Tom Cruise.

Yahoo! search for "cock hungry coeds xxx" - wow. I guess this isn't a family site any more. I hope he at least signed up for Party Poker while he was here.

Yahoo! search for "Doyle Brunson sitings" - I wrote up something after a trip to Vegas last year about famous people I saw. I didn't bother to write up anything about poker player sitings after my recent Vegas trip because just about every famous poker player was there.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

High Stakes Head Games

As a poker player and poker fan, I'm fascinated by high-stakes head games. And so when I noticed Lebron James say something to Gilbert Arenas and then tap his chest in the closing moments of game 6 of the opening round playoff series between the Cavs and the Wizards, I immediately hoped that everyone else noticed it and that I'd get to hear more.

After the game, both players answered questions about the incident, admitting that Lebron was trying to mess with Gilbert's mind. And it worked. Arenas missed the free-throw and basically cost his team the game.

I haven't watched a ton of coverage of that incident, but the little I've seen has focused on whether Lebron's move was unsportsmanlike or just part of the game. And I've agreed with the consensus that head-games are part of playing sports at a high level. This isn't polite tea and scones at the country club, it is war. If the refs let you do it, it is fair game.

But to me, the interesting part of it isn't as much what Lebron did, as how Gilbert reacted. As a modest Wizards fan, my very first reaction when I saw what Lebron was doing was an outraged "he can't do that!" and I wondered if the refs would do anything. They didn't. And that is when Gilbert should have done something.

What should he have done? Well whenever you ask a "what should you do" question about basketball, the best way to solve the problem is the WWJD method: What Would Jordan Do?

Can you imagine anyone trying to pull that stunt on Michael Jordan? There is absolutely no way in hell he would have let anyone get away with talking to him, yet alone touching him while he was at the line. He probably would have refrained from ripping out the trash-talker's throat, but he would have gotten up in his face and unleashed a profane tirade sharp enough to literally sever the testicles of the insolent fool.

MJ wasn't just the greatest basketball player ever, he was also the greatest trash talker ever. Jordan was the supreme alpha dog in a league full of alpha dogs. Everyone has their place in the pecking order, and he took every opportunity to tell everyone that they were below him.

So with the answer to the hypothetical WWJD, we can also look at very recent precedent. I can't find a video of it (lil help anyone?) but in last night's Suns-Clippers game, my boy Sam Cassell tried to run the same trick when Tim Thomas was at the foul line. A career bench player and underachiever, Thomas immediately put his hand in Sam's face and shoved him out of the way while yelling at him. Granted that was probably just a joke between two good friends in the 3rd quarter of a blowout, but still. If you can't be like Mike, you'd expect that an all-star like Arenas could at least be like Tim, right?

But what did Gilbert do?

NOTHING!



Watch Gilbert's face when Lebron talks to him - he's like a terrified child. During the timeout afterwards, he looks like he just wants to crawl into a hole and die. While some are optimistic about future of Gilbert Arenas and the Wizards, I'm not so sure.

How do you come back from that? Gilbert didn't assert himself. He didn't stand up to Lebron. He meekly surrendered to a superior. Game over.

huge self-indulgent poker/life post coming soon?

I feel it coming, but I just don't have the focus to write it quite yet. I've been playing very little poker the last few days, and doing lots of thinking about my life: where I've been, where I am, where I'm going.

It is time for a change.

I've been looking through some of the things I've written, and I thought these 6 old entries weave an interesting story line through this mish-mash that I call my blog.

2/28/05 Why I quit my job

3/7/05 What I said I wanted to do with myself

6/17/05 What I actually did, what I thought I wanted to do

10/12/05 Wasting time, then and now

10/15/05 Making lemonade

1/5/06 I turn down a prospective employer

Roughly speaking, I think those partially tell the story of how misguided ideals and strong inertia tricked me into thinking of myself as a professional poker player. This is the story that I'll delve into if the huge self-indulgent poker/life post does happen.

By the way, the spell check blogger.com provides doesn't recognize the word "blog."

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sam Cassell

Sam Cassell is awesome. Sam Cassell is from Baltimore. Sam Cassell wins basketball games. Here is Sam Cassell on Sam Cassell (I found this on J. A. Adande's blog.)


"One thing about me, I need five guys that's willing to give it up, man. To every night take that court and fight hard. If you do that man, I swear, I can't predict the future, but I can tell you one thing: we're going to win some basketball games. We're going to win more than you won last year.

"People don't realize, when I went to Milwaukee, Ray Allen was a good player. I made him an all-star. I'm not saying I did it all by myself, but I had a big part in him and Glen Robinson becoming all-stars when I was there. I went to Minnesota, Kevin Garnett was not mentioned for the MVP. He was first team, but was he mentioned for MVP candidate? I make him the MVP. He will make me a second-team all-NBA player and an all-star, but I had a whole lot to do - Sprewell and myself - with his development in becoming an MVP. Know what I'm saying?"

What does it take to draw it out of these guys?

"Push 'em. Push 'em Elton Brand's an example. I said, 'Elton, if you want to be a top 10 power forward, you've got to be able to hit the 15-foot jumper. Everything else you do is cool, you've got to take your jump shot. Because people only play you inside.' Now he took his game out 15 feet, I said, 'You make six jumpers, that's 12 points. You get 10 points inside, 22. Free throws, now you've got 26.' It's simple. And you shoot uncontested jump shots, because in the pick-and-roll, his guy double-teams me.

"Nick Van Exel's my best friend. He said, 'Boy you've got a chance to take that team somewhere that they never in their wildest desire thought they could reach. He said, 'Man, you're what the doctor ordered for those guys.' A guy who won't put up with some (stuff), a guy who won't let us feel sorry. I'm not going to. No, [bleep] that. You know what I'm saying? We walk into an arena, we're not going to walk into an arena and say, 'Okay, we're going to play for 44 minutes and lose in the last four minutes.' [Bleep] that. You walk into an arena, we say, 'We're going to beat these [bleeps].' Cause there's nothing like beating somebody on their court. Makes the plane ride better, know what I'm saying? That's all it's about, man. We're going to represent well here. But on the road? That's where your pride factor is.

" Who would have thought that this team would advance in the playoffs? Don't give me the credit for it. I'm just going what I've been doing. I'm just doing what I've been doing my whole [bleeping] career. Elton Brand. Corey Maggette was playing all-star basketball until he [bleeped] is foot up. Cuttino Mobley. When Corey got hurt, I had to become the second scorer. Now I can sit up here and play 24 minutes and see the development of Shaun. I'm well rested. So I know I've got to play big from here on out, or it won't be successful. I'm cool. It's all about winning for me. I've done scored points, I've done had assists. It's all about winning for me. Because I want to coach in this league.

"I look at Avery Johnson, what he accomplished, and I want to be that same kind of coach. Here's the job. Do your job. If you can't do your job, somebody else got to come do it.
We ain't throwing you away. But for a minute or two - or three or four - somebody else'll step in and do it.

"I tell them, do what you do. Everybody on this team. Do what you do."

Friday, May 05, 2006

misc good reading

Here are some blog entries that caught my eye recently.




My friend Whitney writes about how his blog has become a lot different than how it started, a change that mirrors "the gradual decay of friendships inevitably caused by the insurmountable passing of time." I relate strongly to his feelings about drifting away from friends and the "yearnful past," as well as the "unintended consequences" of deciding to start a blog.




Lou Krieger, a well-respected poker author, reports on the pending legislation that threatens online poker. He thinks that the bill is just a political game that is ultimately doomed to failure after elections this fall.




Mark I. Vuletic, a doctoral candidate, philosopher of religion and Marine Corps Corporal, briefly points out that many religious people "respect science and support proper science education."




A true gem from the same author. The link above requires some introduction. Vuletic first points out the absurd hypocrisy and shamefully poor reasoning of some people of faith by contrasting a feel-good story in a Christian publication and a heartbreaking story from Darfur. A commenter named "Aspiring Theologian" responded to it in defense of his God, and I found Vuletic's reply to him quite beautiful.

Businesses that I hate UPDATE

1. Comcast sucks.
2. Fandango sucks.

New:
3. Tom Cruise sucks.


A cool thing about capitalism is that if a company sucks, you can stop doing business with them. If enough people think they suck and stop doing business with them, the business either stops sucking or dies. Plus you can tell your friends about bad experiences and help expedite the process.

So here are businesses that I think should either stop sucking or die.

1. Fandango - Movie tickets online. Fandango sucks.

I tried to order 2 tickets to the Narnia movie for tonight. This message has been on my screen for 10 minutes.

The page has no option for what to do if the screen never changes. The last 2 times I've tried to use this stupid site to order tickets this has happened. It is the online equivalent of some asshole telling you he'll meet you somewhere but he never shows up, never calls, and didn't give you any way of getting in touch with him. Unless they personally apologize to me and give me free shit, I'm not going to try to use them ever again. I doubt I care enough to email them about my problem, so chances are good that I'll never Fandango again.



2. Comcast - cable television and high-speed internet. Comcast sucks.

new: how to give comcast less of your money if you insist on sticking with them

Fandango's offenses are a minor nuisance compared to the astonishing sins of Comcast. Fuck Comcast. Fuck Comcast. I hate Comcast. Fuck Comcast. I was a Comcast customer for 3 years, and I consistently dealt with their terrible customer service and incompetent employees. I've blasted them before and I'm too lazy to look up exactly what I wrote before but here's a quick list of way I can remember being wronged by Comcast (FUCK COMCAST!):

  • Installation in my new house took over week from their scheduled install date because the disgruntled install guy quit in the middle of the job. He showed up complaining, after a while told me he didn't have a part or something and that he'd come back, and never came back. Comcast sent somebody else out a week later, only after I called them wondering why the first guy never came back. (The 2nd guy was a disgusting slob and actually told me I should get DirectTV instead. Shoulda listened to their fat slob.)
  • My TV and Internet connection went out. I called and they said it would be back within 24 hours because they could fix it remotely. 24 hours later it was still off, so I called again. Each call takes like 15 minutes to talk to a real person, by the way. This time they said they'd have to send someone out to fix it. Great, thanks for making me wait a day to determine that. "We can schedule someone to come out in 7 days." What the fuck, 7 days?? Sorry that's the best we can do. You can maybe call back tomorrow and see if a new appointment opens up. So I call back the next day and by some miracle they have an appointment a few days sooner. So I tell them to switch me. That day comes, and the appointment time comes and goes with nobody showing up. I call, and they have no record of me scheduling an appointment. The idiots cancelled my 1st appointment but never booked the new one. I have to schedule yet another one. Finally after 10 days it gets fixed, and nobody even had to come out to my house. They were able to fix it remotely, WHICH THEY COULD HAVE DONE ON THE FIRST FUCKING DAY.
  • They didn't automatically credit me back for the 10 days of outage. I had to call for it. When I called they only were going to give me back the prorated 10 day portion of my monthly bill, when it specifically says on the monthly bill that I should get a credit for 10% of my total monthly bill for each day of outage. I read the statement from my Comcast bull to the moron on the phone, and he refused to give me the credit. I had to file a formal complaint with the Mongomery County Government's franchise board to make Comcast give me the money they owed me.
Those are the 3 most recent and flagrant abuses I suffered at the hands of the shitbirds at Comcast. I switched to DirectTV and Verizon DSL a few months ago, and hopefully I'll never have to do business with Comcast ever again. Everyone I've dealt with from DirectTV has been extremely nice and professional. My DirectTV install guy actually quit his job with Comcast to work for DirectTV. I have a burning hatred for Comcast now, and I mention it loudly and often. I hope they lose business because of me. FUCK COMCAST.



3. Tom Cruise - Actor. Tom Cruise Sucks.

First of all, don't anyone object that Tom Cruise isn't a business, because this guy is worth well over $200 million, maybe even over a billion dollars. He generated more movie revenue than any other Hollywood actor in 2005. Everything he touches generates a stream of money, so there is definitely a business of Tom Cruise.

With that out of the way, I'm still not quite sure how best to deal with my disdain for Tom Cruise. I've generally been willing to separate my personal negative feelings about an entertainer from my enjoyment of their entertainment. Lots of musicians, actors, and athletes are fairly despicable people or make ridiculous political statements. But I've usually decided to just enjoy their music, movies and games and ignore the rest.

Even with Cruise's idiotic religion, questionable sexuality, bizarre antics, and his recent role in the destruction of Katie Holmes, I probably wouldn't have felt the need to take a stand against him until he took a stand against South Park.

Most of you probably know the story, but the short version is that South Park ran a hilarious episode blasting Tom Cruise and Scientology, which led to scientologist Isaac Hayes quitting the show. Then apparently Cruise put pressure on Viacom, the company that owns Comedy Central not to rerun the episode by threatening not to promote Mission Impossible III, which is also a Viacom product. Viacom caved.

It was a great episode of South Park, and I'm bummed that I haven't gotten a chance to see it again. And while I've enjoyed a lot his movies, Tom Cruise is to blame, and I must respond.

I'm boycotting Mission Impossible III. I hope everyone else who enjoys South Park does too.I've heard that Cruise gets 30% of box office revenue and 40% of DVD sales on this movie. I don't know if that is true (actually I don't know if any of these stories about him are true), but I know that I don't want him getting a nickel from me for this movie. Mission Impossible II was pretty lame anyway.

This is a list of businesses that I hope either stop sucking or die. I'd prefer that Tom Cruise stop sucking (I wouldn't actually wish death upon him just for being an idiot, but if he keeps sucking I might wish death upon his career.) He's been in some awesome movies, and he'll probably be in more awesome movies. I doubt he'll get uncrazy, but maybe he'll at least get a new publicist that stops him from saying and doing crazy shit in front of the media.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

A few days late but...


Happy 51st birthday to my Mother.


Happy 82nd birthday to my Grandfather
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Poker 2006: BLEGH!

I've barely won any money in 2006, and I just got back from a bust of a "business trip" to Vegas. I'm frustrated with poker to the point where I've started looking at job listings and thinking about my resume. I've barely won any money in 2006, and I just got back from a bust of a "business trip" to Vegas.

I'm still thinking a lot about going back to school, but the earliest I could go back would be fall of 2007. I need to pay the bills between now and whenever school happens (if school does happen), and its pretty hard to see poker doing it for me the way I'm going.

I could offer various explanations for my lack of success, but one thing that I'm sure of is that my heart and my head just haven't been in the game. Since I've been back in town, I've played 1661 hands of $2/4 hold'em and lost an astonishing $687. That is 172 bets, losing over 10 bb/100 hands. At $2/4. Pathetic.

But from this low, there is still some hope. I feel a bit refreshed after being away for a while, and something has snapped in the way I've been seeing the 6max limit game, especially postflop. Since I've been back I've won $1176.54 in 6167 hands at 5/10 and 3/6, good for 2.28 bb/100 in a very small sample size. And most of that 2/4 disaster was 8-tabling to try to quickly clear a bonus. And looking at the long term, I've still managed to cover all my expenses since I quit my job, even if I haven't been able to build up my bankroll.

I find myself alternating between playing great and playing like an idiot, and wondering what my bank account would look like if I switched to either of those extremes on a full-time basis. Poker is a great hobby, but a tough way to make a living unless you are an elite player. But it looks like the only available jobs that I'm qualified for are pretty terrible too, so for the next month or two I'll try to bring my "A-game" all the time.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Las Vegas: April 15-25 (final update)

Well I'm back from a long trip to Las Vegas, and by the end it did turn out to be a long trip. I have lots to recap for all my loyal readers anxiously awaiting the report.

The Tournament

The reason I was out there was because my buddy Erm won a seat in the $25,000 WPT Championship event. He battled nerves, dead cards, and an awkward table draw that found him with 2 aggressive maniacs on his right and Daniel Negreanu on his left to survive day 1. He got off to a fast start against a much easier table on day 2 only to bust out on a brutal bad beat within the first hour (flopping top set with pocket 9s and getting a player with pocket tens to push all-in... and catch his 2-outer on the river). Congrats to Erm for surviving a day in his first ever big live event.

Unfortunately, the way the event was set up I wasn't able to watch much of his play on day 1. The event seemed beyond the Bellagio's capacity, which I didn't understand at all. They had to split the field into 2 different "day 1" days, and the room was too packed for anyone but players. On Erm's second day, he luckily drew a table in the main poker room where I could have watched, but my plans to camp out on the rail after a quick breakfast were shattered by the painful early exit.

I got a good flavor for the whole tournament scene though, and it is definitely a unique and fun atmosphere. I'll have to get out to Vegas during the WSOP in 2007 maybe.

My Poker Results - Summary

I'm disappointed with the way my poker results worked out.

I played about 40 hours of mid-limit hold'em and lost about $700. I lost another $600 between some drunken low-limit shenanigans and a shamefully unfocused delve into a small no-limit game.

$15/30: 8 hours, +$100
$20/40: 15 hours, +$318
$30/60: 19 hours, -$1088

For the first time in my poker career, I played with someone else's money under a staking deal, and from the way I handled myself, I probably don't deserve another shot. I'm not basing that on results, as I put in 37 hours and lost about 10 big bets while being staked. Even if I generously assume 35 hands dealt per hour, I didn't even play 1300 hands, so the results are almost meaningless as an assessment of the quality of my play. That being said, I have plenty of criticism of my poker play and general decision-making on this trip. I'll get to that.


Relevant info - detailed recap, commentary

Saturday:

Got into town, and found a seat in a good $20/40 game at Mirage around 9:45pm. Played for 6 hours and lost $450.

Sunday:

Played in a very good $30/60 game at Bellagio from 6pm to 1:30am. After dropping $1,000 very quickly, I went on a nice run to finish up $1450.

  • I don't recall exactly why I left this game, but I think I told myself it was a combination of feeling tired and the game getting tighter. I've always had a tendency to play less when I'm winning and more when I'm losing. It is a psychological defense mechanism: make the good feeling of winning last a long as possible, and fight off the bad feeling of losing. But of course this tendency is exactly backwards from what I logically should do, which is play more when I'm winning and quit when I'm losing. I'm not sure if wanting to book my win was a factor here, but it probably was.

Monday:

Starting around 5:30 that evening, I blew $180 goofing around at $3/6 and drinking whiskey sours with Erm. We proceeded to a party where we got hammered, offended everyone, and I lost my credit card. (I had to call my girlfriend at 4am eastern time to have her find me the phone number to call and cancel the card. I suck.) At one point Erm knocked Full Tilt pro Gavin Smith to the ground. That was after Erm challenged him to a $5million last-longer bet. Gavin had agreed to a series of bets escalating up to half a million, but balked at the $5,000,000 figure. "That's out of my price range... I could maybe get backers though." Eventually they shook hands on a $5,000 bet that neither of them had any intention of honoring.

  • Here is where wanting to hold on to the win was clearly a factor. Instead of jumping back into the $30/60 and trying to keep making money, I wasted an entire day just slacking off. This was completely irresponsible. I had a good time and all, but this was a major mistake.

Tuesday:

I was hung over all day. Sat in a decent $15/30 game for 2 hours and won $300. Took the rest of the night off from poker.

  • So basically I lost 2 days to the combination of wanting to hold onto the feeling of a big win and the bad decision to drink too much.

Wednesday:

Watched Erm play from about noon to 3, but then it got too hard to see the action. Lost $300 in an hour at a $15/30 table while waiting for a seat in a $30/60 game. Won $700 at a decent table, then quit for dinner around 9pm. Around midnight I took a seat in a wild $30/60 game at the Bellagio and left after 3 hours down $1800.

  • I don't remember exactly how I lost in the $15/30, but I do remember thinking I had made 1 or 2 questionable plays. They weren't obviously terrible mistakes - it might have been something like calling a turn raise and a river bet with a good top pair hand that I should have known was beaten. But I think maybe I let myself get a little sloppy in the smaller stakes game after having a successful session at higher stakes.
  • The 2nd $30/60 session of the night was disappointing, because the game was so good. There was a drunk Canadian next to me who usually played $4/8 who was giving some crazy action, and then an old guy on my left who called any number of raises with ace-rag and always called until the river with any semblance of a hand. Unfortunately he kept catching weird 2-pairs or backdoor straights against me, and my stacks melted away. I felt like I played fairly well, but just was unlucky. So it goes sometimes.
Thursday:

After Erm busted out of the tournament, I took a seat in a weird $20/40 game at Mirage. It had a couple very soft spots, and the rest of the players were obviously regulars and total rocks. I had a nice run of cards though, and quit when the soft spots left around 6pm, up $600 in 4.5 hours of play. I took a seat in a $1-2 no limit game around 9pm and blew through a pair of $200 buy-ins in under 2 hours. I moved back to an excellent $20/40 game, and played about 3 hours and lost $200.

  • The first 20/40 session was one of my best poker performances of the trip. The Bellagio poker room was full because of the tournament, so this was the best game I could find that afternoon. I played very well for a few hours, won and lost some huge pots, and left the game at the right time based on game conditions, in spite being on a $1,000 downswing (I was up about $1500 at my peak in the session). I was particularly proud of the way I adjusted my strategies to changing conditions in this game - one or two players coming and going made a huge difference.
  • I followed that up with an atrocious performance in my only no-limit session. I twice put my whole stack in with strong 2nd best hands that I knew were second best. I was very disappointed with my play here, and I think it influenced my decision to leave the excellent $20/40 game too early.
  • That game featured a player with a stack of $20k in front of him (most of it in gold $1,000 chips) who played every hand to the river and only raised with an overpair to the board or better. There was also a player who had just busted out of the Bellagio tournament and was playing limit hold'em for the first time. I'm not sure who was a worse player, but they both seemed to have no regard for money, which didn't seem fair because they were the only ones winning any. I guess the emotional rollercoaster of the day - playing well in a tougher game, playing terribly in an easy no-limit game, and then not cashing in on the juicy game - was too much for me, and that's why I decided to leave the game.
  • Choosing to leave a good game is always a tough call. I don't regret leaving the great $30/60 game the night before - I had lost 30 big bets, so my table image was weak and my confidence had to be a bit shaken, the drunk Canadian was racking up his chips, plus it was 3am and I was pretty tired. That isn't a recipe for poker success. But leaving this $20/40 game was a different. I was about even at the time, the table respected my play, I wasn't too tired, and the bad players showed no signs of slowing down.
Friday:

I sat in a pretty good $20/40 game and took down a few quick pots to win $500 in under an hour. I left the game to grab a bite with Luke, and then we both took seats in a terrible $20/40 game. We played mostly shorthanded with a few other good players, and decided to leave after about 2 hours. I was lucky to only lose $100 there. I grabbed a seat in an excellent $30/60 game at Bellagio around 8pm, and left it at 2am after losing $1400.

  • I only played the shorthanded game for the social value of hanging out with Luke for a bit, and because the floor let us play without rake because he knew none of us really wanted to play such a tough game when there are much easier games to be found.
  • My 6 hour session in the $30/60 game was my other best performance of the trip, in spite of the terrible bottom line. I made excellent decisions, and I detached myself from emotion better than I ever have before. I'm really hoping I can bring that back with my to my online play.
  • In regards to the results, I just didn't have the cards, and at a table with a maniac and 3 to 5 calling stations, you just have to have cards to win at limit hold'em. But I made the most with the few hands I did win - making some good reads and thin value bets with marginal hands. And with one exception that I recall, I minimized the damage when my few big hands got cracked. Basically, I don't think an expert high-limit player could have lost much less than I did this session.
  • The one play I remember not liking was calling a turn raise and a river bet with top pair/top kicker. The maniac, who had been raising with any suited cards and making flush after flush, raised in late position and everyone folded to my small blind. I hadn't played a hand in hours, and I reraised with As-Ks. The big blind, a woman who obviously playing with her husband's money and couldn't fold anything, called, along with the maniac. The flop was a King and some rags, all diamonds. I bet and they both called. I bet a blank turn, the lady called, and the maniac raised. We both called the raise, and check-called his river bet. Maniac had 9d-3d for the flopped flush, and the woman yelled at him because she though her Kc-Qh should have won. I should have folded to the maniac's river bet, if not his turn raise. He was loose and wild, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew I hadn't played a hand in a long time, so his turn raise definitely said that he wasn't afraid of A-A, A-K or even K-K. There was just no way my pair was good, but I paid it off anyway.
  • The only hands I played after that were pocket Queens and pocket Aces, both of which lost the minimum on threatening boards.

Saturday:

The sore throat I noticed worsening all day Friday turned into a full blown bronchitis crapfest. I was tossing and turning all night with a fever, and playing poker just wasn't an option on Saturday. I stayed in my shitty hotel room all day, sleeping and watching the NBA playoffs while doped up on cold medication. This was the worst day of the illness, but it slowed me down for the rest of the trip, and I've still got a painful cough and sore throat right now (6 days later).

Sunday:

I felt significantly better after day of rest, but still far from 100%. I sat in a rather crappy $15/30 game at the Bellagio for a few hours and won about $300.

  • There were 2 crappy $15/30 games going, and 5 good $30/60 games, but because of a bunch of weird circumstances, I figured it would be better for me to stay in the smaller game. First, my staking situation was questionable - my staker was on a plane heading home so I wasn't in touch with him. I didn't have a lot of cash on me, because he had unexpectedly needed his cash back before he left. We had planned for him to stake me for my whole trip, but he had suffered some losses of his own, so I wasn't 100% sure that he was still comfortable with the arrangement. But even if he was still planning to honor the staking deal while I was playing with my own cash (which he was), I wasn't thrilled with the idea of throwing my last few thousand dollars into play, especially since I was on a $3200 downswing in the 30/60 game, and I was still fairly ill. Basically, jumping back into the highest limits I had ever played seemed like a bad idea.

Monday:

Still feeling pretty crappy, and not wanting to risk a huge loss on my last day, I decided to check out the Wynn's poker room. I sat in a terrible $15/30 game for 3 hours and lost $160. After 9 days in Las Vegas, I decided to do some non-poker gambling, and I bet on the Chicago Bulls +7 over the Miami Heat, which ended up a push. And I didn't think I'd be able to sleep before leaving at 4am to catch an early morning flight, so from about midnight to 3am I played casino blackjack for my first time and lost $225.

  • While it was good that I left the bad poker game, I really should have known to leave a lot earlier. It was obvious right away that the game was terrible. Also, why the hell was I betting sports and playing blackjack?

Discussion -

I realized that this trip basically highlights several factors that have limited my success in a year of playing poker full time. Faults include prioritizing, discipline, adjusting to changing conditions, and a touch of bad luck.

Bad Luck

Let's get the bad luck on this trip out of the way first, because it is the least related to my long-term struggles and I whine too much already. I should also point out that "you make your own luck" and maybe there were ways I could have avoided the unfortunate things.

Obviously it was unlucky that I got sick and missed out on the Saturday action, which probably would have been the best action of the trip. On the other hand, if I had taken a little bit better care of myself, maybe my immune system would have worked better. I had a night where I drank way too much, and I probably wasn't eating particularly well or staying well-hydrated for most of the trip.

It is unlucky that my backer lost some money and needed his cash back. On the other hand, if he and I had planned our cash situation better, maybe I would have been in a better situation to sit in bigger games towards the end of the trip.

It is unlucky that when I was booking hotel for the trip, none of my friends had been able to commit to meeting me out there. So I had to plan under the assumption I'd be paying for everything, and so I bounced back and forth between 2 hotels to keep my costs down. So I saved some expense, but that left me at inconvenient locations (and in one of the cases, an amazingly crappy room). It turned out that 2 buddies were able to meet me out there, so we would all have been better off splitting a more expensive room in a better location.

And it is unlucky that I didn't win in good games, especially at $30/60. Every one of those games I sat in was excellent, and while I've got a lot of room for improvement, I have no doubt I was a strong favorite at every table I sat at that limit. On the other hand, I was out there for over a week and I put in less than 20 hours at 30/60, playing less than 600 hands probably. I could have given myself a better chance to win by playing longer. More on that in a bit.


Priorities/Adjusting/Discipline

I really lost sight of my priorities on this trip. When I was planning, I had very clear and simple priorities in mind:

1. Support Erm in his tournament
2. Make as much money playing poker as possible (subpoints - pick the most profitable games, play a much as possible but not so much that I burn out, get enough sleep to play well)


I did fine with #1, but I ended up putting a lot of other things ahead of poker, and I think the main reason is that as things changed, I didn't adjust my plans to keep me on target with my priorities. Aside from lacking the vision to notice changing circumstances, I fell short on having the discipline to keep myself on track.

A few years ago I spent 8 days at the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles. I basically woke up, played poker all day, and then took the elevator back to my bed and slept. By about the 5th or 6th day of playing 12-16 hour days, I was totally burnt out and my play started to suffer. I had that in mind when I was planning this trip. I knew Erm's tournament was starting on a Tuesday, and potentially continuing until the following Monday if he survived that long.

So I figured I'd fly out on Saturday to catch the weekend action, and then the tournament would provide me with a break so I wouldn't get burnt out like before. I knew that Paradise Poker, where Erm won his seat, was hosting a party for their players on the Monday night before the tournament started, so I figured I'd hang out there for a little bit that night, and then get to bed "early" so I could be ready for Erm's noon start.

That was a reasonable plan, and hanging out and having a few drinks made sense under that schedule. But when I found out that Erm wasn't starting until the 2nd "day 1" on Wednesday, I should have changed my plans. I had played well Sunday night, and now I didn't have Erm's tournament on Tuesday, so wasting Monday evening on a party didn't make sense any more. I should have hit the $30/60 again. So in this case I put partying and preserving the feeling of the win above making money.

Another way I confused my priorities was that I tended to hang around the casinos where my friends were playing, even if I knew I could probably find a more profitable game somewhere else. I had plenty of time to catch up with my buddies during meals and other times I wasn't playing. And its not like they were pressuring me too hard to hang around. They would have certainly understood, and its not like I often give in to peer pressure on anything anyway. I've got unprecedented access to enough cash to comfortably sit $30/60, and I'm wasting my time playing like a jackass in a $1-2 no limit game? So stupid.

Similarly, I tended to want to leave my game at the same time my friends were leaving their games, either for social reasons, or in some cases because I wanted to split the cost of a cab back to our hotel. Seriously, I'm sitting in a wild $20/40 game where a moron is playing with $20,000 in front of him, and I'm worried about splitting a $10 cab. What the hell is that?

These are so similar to problems I've encountered throughout my poker career. There have been times that I've suddenly realized that I'm playing without any purpose. I allow distractions like TV, email, IMs, or surfing the web to sneak into my playing routine. Or I find myself playing too long when I'm losing and quitting too early when I'm ahead. I don't want to take 20 minutes to review some hand histories and try to improve my game, but I'll spend an hour browsing through the gossip forums on 2+2. Or I'll keep logging heavy hours in a game without recognizing that something changed and made it less profitable for me.

Then by the last day of the trip, my behavior was barely recognizable as my own. I started out thinking I should play as much as possible in the best games I could find, and by the end I was playing a just a few hours in bad $15/30 games, and betting on sports and blackjack. Chicago +7 in game 2? WHAT THE FUCK?! Like losing Udonis Haslem is a crippling blow.

I wish I could blame it on the illness, but I have to think that spending so much time in Vegas just beat me into submission. Shit, if I had stayed out there for an entire month, I'd probably be alternating nights of snorting lines of cocaine off a hooker's ass while betting my house at the craps tables and reading scripture and singing in the church choir.

I like to think that strategy is a strength of mine. But a strategy is useless if you don't follow it, or if you don't adjust it as conditions change. Too often I lack the discipline to keep me on a course I know is best, or the vision to identify changing circumstances so that I can adjust to them. And apparently after a while I just break down and do really weird things.

To sum up, I should have taken much better advantage of my time on this trip. With 10 full days out there, and with a stake freeing me up to pick the best available games, I should have played as high as possible for as long as possible. Hopefully I learn from my mistake on this relatively short trip, I apply the lesson to my day-to-day life.

The trip had its ups and downs, but I've mostly discussed the downs because I hope that being self-critical is productive. I'll close this entry with a goofy moment that made me laugh.


Amusing Anecdote: "The Poker Diva"

While I was sitting in the $30/60 game Sunday night, Liz Lieu came over to talk to a friend sitting at my table. I assume she had just arrived for the tournament, because they exchanged excited hugs like they hadn't seen each other for a while. I've been hearing a lot about her lately, but I wasn't sure if it was because of her poker prowess or because she's got nice boobs and a bellybutton ring. Her tournament results don't seem too sexy, as opposed a royal flush neatly tucked into her waistband.

Anyway, after she was talking for a while, a few more of her friends came over and one of them handed her a magazine. She exclaimed "oh! is that my magazine!?" and began furiously flipping through the pages.

I couldn't quite figure out what was going on until she turned to a different angle, revealing her face on the cover of the magazine. I just found something funny about that image of a girl standing next to me, excitedly looking through a magazine featuring her on the cover.

By the way, I didn't find her display to be obnoxious or conceited. She just seemed like a normal girl who was genuinely excited at achieving some level of success, and like any girl I've ever known, she wanted to see if she looked good in the pictures.

I imagine this poker boom has produced many moments like that one.

She must have taken this picture the next day:




And now I'm back to the online grind.

But just in case my girlfriend gets jealous that I posted 3 pictures of some other cute asian girl, I probably ought to post at least one picture of her. So here's yet another image of her being way more attractive than me.

She's always been supportive about everything I've done with poker, and she was awesome about letting me fly off to Las Vegas for 10 days, leaving her all alone in the house, especially with all the confidence-inspiring "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" propaganda. She didn't even get very mad when my stupid drunk ass woke her up to get my credit card company's phone number. She's way more understanding than I deserve. Actually she's way more everything than I deserve. I might have had a little bad luck in Vegas, but that is nothing compared to my good luck in coming home to her.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Gromphadorhina portentosa

These things are in my house right now. I just took these pics. Gross.







Madagascar Hissing Cockroach

Monday, April 10, 2006

A simple goal

I just think about doing things, but never actually do anything. It has now been a month since I started a blog entry about the idea of going back to school, and I haven't done anything with the idea since then. I don't want to be relying on poker income forever, but I'm doing absolutely nothing to move on.

So my very simple goal is to put some more effort into it before I leave for Las Vegas on April 15. If I haven't updated it by then, please berate me with hateful comments.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

again! protest the anti-online gambling legislation

http://capwiz.com/keep_it_legal/issues/alert/?alertid=8637406


Click the link to automatically send this letter to your Senators and Representative.

I am writing to urge you to oppose pending legislation that would limit the rights of individuals to play poker online. Currently, there are two bills in the House, H.R. 4411 introduced by Rep. James Leach (R-IA) and H.R. 4777 introduced by Rep. Robert Goodlatte (R-VA). And in the Senate, Jon Kyl (R-AZ) is pushing similar legislation that he wants to introduce.

As an avid poker player, I feel strongly that these bills and any other legislation that deny Americans the right to play a game of skill such as poker on the Internet, seriously and egregiously violate my personal freedoms.

More than 70 million people today enjoy poker. And while most play at home, in taverns or poker clubs, many enjoy this game of skill with friends and family on the Internet. The possibility of the federal government stripping away this right to play online is very troubling to me.

These bills trample the freedoms of online poker players and represent a slippery slope that could lead to the federal government denying citizens the right to play poker in offline venues. The bills also hypocritically make exceptions for certain types of gambling, including internet state lotteries, placing online bets for horse races and select fantasy sports, while prohibiting poker, which is objectively a skill game.

Equally troubling, though, are the bill’s enforcement mechanisms. All three proposals contain banking enforcement provisions which would extend a “know your customer” relationship well beyond what I want my bankers to know about my financial affairs. This regulation would require bankers to monitor my on-line purchases and even review my checks. Like most Americans, I choose my bank, and deposit my paycheck for safekeeping, not for them to monitor my withdrawals, funds transfer or even individual checks. These provisions put the government too deep into my pocketbook. According to Forbes’ magazine there are 5 FBI agents assigned to internet gambling, I demand that American taxpayers know the full cost of enforcing a ban on my rights to play poker on-line.

Separately, in Rep. Goodlatte’s legislation, Internet service providers (ISPs) are forced to remove gambling related hyperlinks upon court order. Such mandates require ISPs to remove or disable access to online sites that the government deems violations. This is censorship of the Internet, plain and simple. Congress rightly criticized China for blocking the free flow of information to its citizens via the Internet, and now Goodlatte’s bill deserves similar scrutiny.

From average citizens to presidents, generals, Members of Congress and Supreme Court justices, Americans have been playing poker for centuries, making it a rich part of our cultural heritage. Today, the evolution of game on the Internet should not be restricted by overarching government interference, and simply by putting the word “internet” in front of poker does not make it wrong.

I urge you to take these concerns into consideration and oppose H.R. 4411, H.R. 4777 and the Kyl proposal that will make outlaws of poker players who enjoy the game online.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

SHOUT (what?) makes no sensez (IGGY!!!)

Alright, here we go. I haven't had much to say of any substance lately. And I've had a few beers, so what I'm about to say isn't really anything of substance either. But I'm going to have fun with a big fat tangential Iggy-inspired Sierra Nevada-fueled ubershat. Bonus code IGGY dammit!

(precise clarification: go to www.partypoker.com and sign up for a poker account. when you are signing up and prompted for a bonus code, type in IGGY. I don't care that I'm an affiliate too and trying to make some dollars. He earned it way more than me, and if this this particular terrible post of mine makes you sign up, kick the commission over to blogfather.)

1.)I'm going to record this post in running list form. This means enumeration. Ordinal systems are the order of the night. Deal with it.

2.)I was doing some random internet browsing, which usually takes me to poker sites. I checked out the official site of David Williams, a young poker player who is most famous for finishing 2nd to Greg Raymer in the 2005 WSOP main event. I've never met him, but from what I've seen of him on TV and from a distance in casinos he seems like the kind of nice guy who could easily be a part of anyone's circle of friends. And he never struck me as particularly full of himself. But then I noticed this page on his website.

It contains this quote:

David is popular with the media- his easygoing nature away from the table allows people to connect with him professionally and personally. No wonder he has so many friend on the touring circuit. With his good looks, natural charm and crisp personal style- everyone is looking at David to see what is next.


WTF? This is his website right? I looked it up on register.com which says the site is owned and operated by David Williams (and includes his address and email). And there's nothing to suggest that was intended sarcastically.

Can you imagine me writing this about myself:

adspar is popular with the media (and everyone else for that matter!) - his easygoing nature away from his computer allows people to connect with him professionally, personally, artistically, spiritually and most importantly sexually. No wonder he has so many friend wherever he goes. With his good looks, natural charm, gigantic cranium, and occasional personal grooming - everyone is looking at adspar to see what is the most important thing in all of life and time and space. I am, I mean, adspar is fucking awesome.

I'll assume that he has some agent that made this site for him and wrote that about him. Maybe he shares an agent with other full-of-themselves pros like Phil Hellmuth and Antonio Esfandiari (I accuse him based on an All-In magazine article that he may or may not have written. I can't find a direct link though so maybe I just imagined it.). Anyway, I'm willing to forgive David Williams for his apparent cockiness. Luke loves David Williams.

3.) I went to the DC Zoo recently. I wanted to check out the house with the elephants. When I went in I saw a hippo in a cage, and 2 thoughts simultaneously occurred to me. I'll call them thought A and thought B so as not to confuse them with my other number scheme.

Thought A: Holy shit, hippos are the most fucking terrifying animals that aren't obvious carnivorous stalkers. Actually they're right up there on the list of most terrifying animals in the world. Fuck here come more numbers:

  1. Sharks
  2. Grizzly Bears
  3. Lions/Tigers/Tiglons/Ligers
  4. Hippopotami
  5. Huge fucking snakes

I suppose it is possible that some of you disagree that the hippo is a scary animal. But you'd be terribly wrong. A hippo will rip your fucking face off and not even think twice.

B: Zoos are really fucked up places. Here's this ridiculous huge creature whose entire purpose in life is to chill in a lake and rip people's faces off and we have it locked up in a cage for our amusement. I don't want it to rip my face off, but I'm sure we could find a full-of-himself poker player to be defaced. Whatever, we're at the top of the food chain; we do what we want.

4.) If you don't know about it, check out Pandora. Lots of free music with no strings attached. Through this site I learned that I like "dynamic male vocalists" and "breathy female vocalists." Awesome.

5.)

I fucking hate people.

I hate Duke.

I hate lacrosse players. (Especially from Duke)

I love sports news.

I hate you. (no special link here)


6.) The Sopranos is the best TV show in the history of time. Lost is the best non-HBO show on TV right now. adspar is incredibly good looking, so it is no surprise that he is often featured on TV.

7.) The Komodo Dragon wants to rip my girlfriend's face off. If he does, at least I'll get a picture of it.

8.) This is another very useful free thing I've been using lately. It takes notes.

9.) I didn't space this shit very well. I pretty much shot my wad with the David Williams and the hippo. Those were the top notch items I knew I wanted to cover. But I was done with them within the first 3 items. It is all downhill from there.

10.) Lets piss off Clint for no reason.



11.) Holy shit I somehow majorly botches all the html code crap on this page and had to spend an hour fixing it. This is no doubt related to the booze. This list goes to 11.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Lady Terps: National Champs!

On the one hand, it is cool that we won a national championship. But on the other hand, women's sports are terrible. I don't have much else to say about it.

I'm pretty sure the idiots in College Park have used this event as an excuse to start yet another riot. (I had to mangle that whole sentence because I don't know if it is spelled "riotting" or "rioting" and neither looks right.) I pretty much hate anyone that is involved in a riot, which means I hate everyone at my alma mater. Awesome.

Monday, April 03, 2006

croc = adspar. baboon = miken27freak




FullTiltPoker Game #533629517: Table Galleria (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 14:21:07 ET - 2006/03/30
Seat 1: miken27freak ($153.65)
Seat 2: sirbusto ($205.35)
Seat 3: fresh2def126 ($119.70)
Seat 4: allieq ($74.40)
Seat 5: llh120 ($197.35)
Seat 6: ADSPAR ($194)
allieq posts the small blind of $1
llh120 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to ADSPAR [Kd Kc]
fresh2def126: yeah man i was worried about JK
fresh2def126: on turn
ADSPAR raises to $7
miken27freak raises to $12
sirbusto folds
fresh2def126 folds
allieq folds
llh120 folds
ADSPAR calls $5
*** FLOP *** [Ks 7h 5s]
ADSPAR bets $10
miken27freak raises to $141.65, and is all in
ADSPAR calls $131.65
miken27freak shows [Jh Jc]
LesterMurphy shows [Kd Kc]
*** TURN *** [Ks 7h 5s] [Jd]
*** RIVER *** [Ks 7h 5s Jd] [Js]
miken27freak shows four of a kind, Jacks
ADSPAR shows a full house, Kings full of Jacks
miken27freak wins the pot ($307.30) with four of a kind, Jacks
miken27freak: ohh
miken27freak: ohh
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $310.30 | Rake $3
Board: [Ks 7h 5s Jd Js]
Seat 1: miken27freak showed [Jh Jc] and won ($307.30) with four of a kind, Jacks
Seat 2: sirbusto didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: fresh2def126 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: allieq (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: llh120 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: ADSPAR showed [Kd Kc] and lost with a full house, Kings full of Jacks