Well I'm pretty much in crisis mode now as the huge losses continue. My winrate for at $15/30 has dropped to 0.55BB/100 after about 14,000 hands. Since I felt underbankrolled to begin with, I might have to concede defeat and retreat to lower limits to rebuild my tattered bankroll, not to mention my tattered confidence.
The game that felt so easy a month ago is now a complete mystery to me. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong: horrendous bad luck (punctuated by losing to runner-runner quads after I flopped top set), horrendous bad judgment, missed flops, missed bets, misreads, missed flushed draws for me, made flush draws for them, folding the winners, calling down with losers, and any other imaginable way to finish a session with a lot fewer chips. I'm doubting my entire approach to everything: what times I play, how long I play, how many tables, what limits, when to stop, when to bet, raise, call or fold. My concentration sucks. My hand reading sucks. My decision-making sucks. My luck sucks.
I'm not particularly distressed about the $5,500 I've lost in the last 3 days. I am distressed at the very real possibility that I'll need to find another income source in the near future. The thought of returning to the workforce is harrowing. I don't know what my plan is, but if I'm going to keep playing poker, I need to drastically improve my game and my results in a hurry.
I'm forced to acknowledge the possibility that I'm just not good enough at poker to last much longer. I have a few ideas about what I want to do to give this a chance to keep working. I need to think some more about that, form a strict plan, and then let the cards fall where they may.
2 comments:
the man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right
confucius say: wife who put husband in dog house soon find him in cat house
dudrc
Some advice: Hang in there and retreat to your basic gameplan. Play mechanically for a while but still be observant and try to make reads so you can play well on later streets. Also make sure you are not playing too loosely in an effort to "improve ... [your] results in a hurry."
Whatever you do, don't get a real job. Those suck. If you want, use the time you would have spent at a real job to read poker books and message boards. That's what I do.
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